It is no secret that I have a challenging five year old. She is me. She is my payback. And I totally get that. The difference is...before the ripe age of five I had well learned that my parents were more stubborn than I and well they had the belt and in the end they were in charge. Lil'K has not learned that I am the one in charge. And to be honest even if she knows I am in charge she does not care. And is ready to dethrone me at a moments notice. It is a battle that is fought everyday. It is challenging, frustrating, and leaves me feeling insane at the end of each day. I have tried everything you can imagine...to no avail. Lately, this issue has become a huge deal in my house. My frustration with my children, most specifically the smallest, has had me wanting to run away to a distant island and sell coconut swim suits. I love my children. I understand this is what happens when you are a mother. A parent. There will be trials. I will not win them all. I get it. I was a kid once too. But my children leave me feeling like this is not what I was cut out for. It really does not help when I am already fighting some of my own demons with the loss of job and financial issues that has brought, all the while trying to maintain a loving nurturing home with things like food.
Since she has started Kindergarten the battle has not stopped, I just get an eight hour reprieve from the war. She came home with a permission slip for a field trip a week and a half ago. Much to my surprise, Miss I Hate School begged and begged and pleaded to go. The light bulb clicked on. And boy did it shine!!
Me - Oh you have a field trip...that's nice.
Lil'K - Oh momma can I please please please go! I want to go. Really Really bad mom.