It is no secret that I have a challenging five year old. She is me. She is my payback. And I totally get that. The difference is...before the ripe age of five I had well learned that my parents were more stubborn than I and well they had the belt and in the end they were in charge. Lil'K has not learned that I am the one in charge. And to be honest even if she knows I am in charge she does not care. And is ready to dethrone me at a moments notice. It is a battle that is fought everyday. It is challenging, frustrating, and leaves me feeling insane at the end of each day. I have tried everything you can imagine...to no avail. Lately, this issue has become a huge deal in my house. My frustration with my children, most specifically the smallest, has had me wanting to run away to a distant island and sell coconut swim suits. I love my children. I understand this is what happens when you are a mother. A parent. There will be trials. I will not win them all. I get it. I was a kid once too. But my children leave me feeling like this is not what I was cut out for. It really does not help when I am already fighting some of my own demons with the loss of job and financial issues that has brought, all the while trying to maintain a loving nurturing home with things like food.
Since she has started Kindergarten the battle has not stopped, I just get an eight hour reprieve from the war. She came home with a permission slip for a field trip a week and a half ago. Much to my surprise, Miss I Hate School begged and begged and pleaded to go. The light bulb clicked on. And boy did it shine!!
Me - Oh you have a field trip...that's nice.
Lil'K - Oh momma can I please please please go! I want to go. Really Really bad mom.
Me - Well you know you cannot go if you act on your trip as you act at home. The teachers have way too many kids to keep track of. With the way you like to run off in public and hide in the clothes racks in the store, I am just afraid if I let you go you will get lost. And honestly, the teachers just do not have the time to look for kids that stray.
Lil'K - Momma I promise I will not run off. I won't jump, or bounce, or skip, or run, or even leave the line. I promise I will stay with my class.
Me - You know what, I am just not sure you are ready to go on a field trip without your mom. Maybe next time.
Lil'K - {crying, sniffing, wailing, throwing oneself on the floor, devastation ensues}
Me - Ooooooh. That is bad. Now I really know you are not ready for a field trip. What if you want something and they tell you that you may not have it? Then what? Will you hit the floor and have a tantrum? They are not going to deal with that. Then I will have to come pick you up before you even get to watch the show.
Lil'K - {devastation and destruction end, allbeit through watery eyes and a red nose}
Lil'K - Momma I will NOT act like that on my field trip.
Me - You say that but there is really no way for me to know. You behave badly at home. And I am afraid you will behave the same at school and on your trip.
Lil'K - {The wheels are turning}
Me - But mayyyyybeeee....if you could be good. For a whole week. Seven days. No melt downs, or yelling, or fits, or crying unnecessarily or ANY bad behavior and then maybe I would sign your permission slip.
Lil'K - OK Momma I can do it!!
Me - We will see.
Don't let the cuteness fool you...she is a monster. Monster I tell you!!!
And please let me tell you: P-E-R-F-E-C-T child. For AN ENTIRE FREAKING ASS WEEK!!! She stayed on green everyday in class, after getting on red twice the week before. Had no meltdowns, no fits, no crazy major issues. Now. Am I proud of her for it? Yes. Did I think she could do it? No. Am I glad she did it? Totally! Does it make me even more angry? HELL YES. And to top it off she even spent the weekend at my Dad and Stepmothers and was good. And not just regular good...like good good. Well mannered, yes ma'am and yes sirs, never cried for me, stayed two nights which is a miracle in and of itself. (I will tell you this was the calmest, quietest, awesomest weekend my house has seen in a very long time) Are you freaking serious?!?!? It really just proved, if nothing else, that when she wants something she is aware of how she acts and can and will pull off proper behavior. And to be honest...IT PISSES ME OFF!!!
I got an email from her K teacher this morning reminding me that the money and slip were due by Wednesday, and if Lil'K was not attending the field trip that I needed to note it and send back the slip. This was my reply:
"She will be going. I used the field trip as a bribe for last week. One week of good behavior = me signing the field trip note. Wrong? Maybe. But she behaved better in the last week than she has in the last year. I will have the money and pink sheet signed for her to bring tomorrow. If she can find her pink sheet. Is it possible to send another one home with her today just in case?
Sorry I waited so long but I have to pick my battles and this one was a win for the home team!"
Her response:
" Hey whatever works! "
Have I mentioned I love her K teacher???
Why can she not act like this all the time? Why must she give me hell every day of my life? I am truly beginning to think it is me. She just does not like me. And that is plain nuts.
So yes. I used mental warfare. And yes. I won. Is it fair? Absolutely!! Is it right? Meh. The jury is still out on this one. We have another outing, for the family, coming up soon. You can bet your ass I will use the same tactic for that one as well! I have to choose my battles. And I won this one.
Score for the home team!!!
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