Today when I said:
To my 4 year old "honey let mommy talk to the nice man about my new fence"
What I Meant To say:
"i swear to baby jesus if you do not let me talk to this man about the exorbitant amount of money he is about to gouge me for, i will pummel you into oblivion. that cute smile you have is about to be all jacked up if you do not let me work a deal without seeming psychotic. the ONLY thing that is keeping me from flipping out on you right this second is the fact that there is a stranger standing in front of me that knows people i know. so back off sweetie!!"
Today when I said:
"i am extending an olive branch and want things to go in the right direction"
What I Meant To say:
"are you f'ing kidding me? why is it me that always has to be the bigger person. and i do not mean fatter. i mean more mature. nicer, sweeter, bigger person. the one that is constantly worried about her karma. about doing right. about keeping the friends together. why is it me, who gets talked about behind her back, that never does anything to you or yours, that has to be the peace keeper. why can i not throw a screaming fit on your porch being hysterical and full of anger? why can i not be the ass? really?!? *sigh* stupid heifer."
Today when I said:
To my BFF "i think i need a beer"
What I Meant To say:
"i think i need '
Today when I said:
"i think i need '
What I Meant To say:
"sweet baby jesus i need to really tie one on good!!"
thank you thank you thank you...*taking a bow* i feel so much better now. and the stupid heifer comment was for (not at) my BFF. yay for all the drama going on lately. if you have not checked her out lately hit the BFF link and do it. we work as a unit. always. if you can even tolerate me you will love her. so show some love and leave a comment her her site. tell her i sent you. she is awesome. i mean come on...she hangs out with me for baby jesus sake. sheesh.
Really, I think I just had a stroke from laughing so hard!!!
Haha!! Wonderfully said.. wonderfully said!!!
do you ever mean you need just one beer?
lmao
Thanks for playing!
Funny stuff. I am cracking up!
I found you through your BFF. Y'all are tooo funny.
OK I know your gonna want to kill me but I couldn't pass this up becuase you truely deserve this so please come by my blog and see what I left for you. Oh and I changed my user name so dont get all confused its still me :)
http://busymom-adventuresinmommyville.blogspot.com/2010/02/stilletto-award.html