Mar
02
well i have stumbled back into the blogging world. i get busy in life and find that it has been too long since i have visited. and i miss it. so i find myself here again.we have internet! yay!! who would have thought something so dumb could make one so happy. maybe with the addition of being able to access the interworldnetwebs i will make appearances more often. meh. i will try.
things are things. my new normal is strange. and i do not always care for it. things feel misplaced. and lost. but it is what it is. i have made that statement so many times over the last couple of decades. and it is true. but i am beginning to dislike that phrase. quite a bit.
Lil'K is back in the hospital. it saddens me that we have to do that. at nine years old she has been in a mental institution of one caliber or another at least 6 times. i wonder if it will always be like this? and if it is...will we survive it. while walking down the hallway after leaving her in the care of her unit i said to the nurse that i did not know if it was good or bad but that admitting her was getting easier. it was no longer accompanied by a sob fest in the car. we did cry together in the assessment room. she had a rough time. begging and pleading. tearing the room up. trying to escape. running into the door. bargaining to not have to stay. but when that wave was over and her mood had returned to normal she agreed that it was the best place for her. because no matter how much she hated it, it did help. i can honestly say that the state of care surrounding mental illness in this country is a joke. and sad. and it frustrates me. and angers me.
Big'K is back from college. i believe the Asperger's got the best of her. she decided to return to a normal setting and wait until it was the right time to head to college. i am disappointed that it did not work out, but not disappointed in her or her decision. she has said that if college does not work out the second time that she is considering the military. this is the first time she has ever come close to even mentioning or accepting the military as an option. i am not sure how i feel. but we will have to see how it all works out.
other than that the house is coming along. slowly. the yellow house still sits in front of The Tin Beast. but hopefully this will be the year it gets torn down and hauled off. i hate seeing it sit there. reminding all of us of the fire.
well my friends, i do hope today finds you well. and hopefully it will not be too long until i fall into here again...
Sending hugs, positive thoughts and light to you from across the river.
Love and spiritual hugs for Lil k and you Dear. Keeping holding on ladies.
Ms. Big K! I hope all goes well when she's ready for college but if she tries again and it's not right for her, there is no shame. College is not for everyone. If she chooses to try the military I would be the first to say, Thank You for your sacrifice and service! I know you have experience Loco and that is a good thing when it comes to guidance. I can't email you so I need to carefully express this. Through things my daughter has seen in the past year and some family friends within other services, there are things I can't go into detail on here, but this is my advice. With any emotional vulnerabilities lingering you may be taking a risk (personally not professionally). Research all the branches carefully and think it through thoroughly. If you are feeling very strong inside and out and ready to be A Giver, if you think you understand what it is to truly leave everything behind and commit yourself to the unknown and the complete authority of others, if you feel like you just want to be out there and learn a whole new life, and you know the very real world risk, to me there is no calling that deserves higher respect. Wishing You All The Best!
Thanks ladies! I promise I haven't fallen off the face of the earth!
Mrs. G...do I have setting wrong for you to not be able to email me? is it an issue on my end?