Had I thought about it an hour ago I would have taken a picture for you all.  But at the time I am usually so distressed that I do not think about it.  It is no secret that I loathe cleaning.  I mean really, who likes it?  Truly?  But I really cannot stand to clean.  It irritates me.  Not like the clean with cleaners clean.  That I do not mind.  But the in general picking up.  That is what I do not care for.  And my kids are the worst about leaving stuff everywhere you can think of.  If I lived by myself, my home would be the picture of clean.  I do not remember being this 'dirty' when I was a kid.  My mother did her fair share of the housework, do not get me wrong.  But really, she made us do our part too.  I had chores.  Chores people!  And not just run of the mill chores either.  I had horses to feed, manure to shovel up, 5 acres to mow.  All on a downhill slope.  Push mow at that.  Although I do have to admit, that one was usually reserved for when I was grounded.  I knew that when I took a shower, my towel was to be hung either on the rack or in my room.  And that same towel was to be used at least three times.  None of this two towels every shower every time.  Oh no.  That would have been a sin.  I remember doing daily chores.  There were normal stuff we did everyday.  Wash dishes, pick up the living room, pick up the floor of our rooms, and general sweeping and spot mopping if something had been spilled.  And Saturday's were cleaning morning.  Friday's during the summer.  But you can guarantee we were going to spend at least four to six hours on that cleaning day doing everything.  A super good vacuum, sweeping, mopping, dusting, window cleaning, everything.  I do not remember our house ever being like stupid clean, like old people's homes, there was normal 'I have a family that lives here' clutter, but it was always company ready.  My house.  Not.  Company.  Ready.  Ever.  Unless that company is expected.  And with at least a two hour window.  Do NOT let someone call, say one of my guy friends, and be like "Oh hey, I was in the area and I am gonna stop by for a bit in about thirty minutes."  Because all hell will break loose.  Batten down the hatches!  Swab the deck!  Holy bejesus!!  It gets downright scary up in here.  That is reserved for emergencies.  The problem is that the kids start messing stuff up, and for about 1-4 weeks I will stay on top of it.  And then something happens.  Maybe I am gone for a couple of days as I was with work and another adult is at my house.  Maybe there is a different type of emergency and I am not home much for a couple days.  Maybe all five kids are here and the BFF and I run to town for half an hour.  But something happens.  Then I walk through the door and BAM!!  Tornado town.  The only thing to do is just look at it, scream a bit, and walk off.  This is point where all the trouble begins.  Next thing you know there are things stuck to my floor, red kool-aid on my wooden floors, ants in my damn laundry room.  (And I so wish they would do that laundry MOTPG!)  And then it happens...I.  Give.  Up.  I no longer care.  I keep my friends away.  Although my nearest and dearest know to expect a mess.  And yes I am embarrassed.  I know it is horrible.  And if anyone just stopped by save about three certain people I would probably stroke out with embarrassment.  It has gotten to the point, like tonight when The Worrier stopped by for a late night visit, that when she walked in the house she gasped...BECAUSE IT WAS CLEAN.  I know.  Sad, sad state of affairs.  I truly believe the worst part is that I, just like the kids, will just step over it.  I will tune it out.  Horrible.  Until the moment I trip.  Or someone has moved my stuff around.  MY stuff.  Then I flip.  Because when fat girl trips all bets are off.  This body is NOT hitting the floor.  And sometimes I will clean after a good flip, and sometimes I will not.  Tomorrow, there will be women at my home for morning coffee.  It is something I started for during the school time.  All my good friends from forever come over and we sit around and drink coffee and visit.  It is our mom time.  Most of them are SAHM's so they welcome the chance to visit with other adults.  And I just love it because I get to see my friends.  School has not started yet, but one of our friends that lives out of town is in town.  And she wants coffee.  And what The White Mexican wants, The White Mexican gets.  She is rarely here and it is the least I can do.  So tonight.  I made my kids step it up a notch.  Some screaming included.  And I cleaned my house.  And when The Worrier walked in she gasped.  At the fact she could see my floor.  She was here two days ago and saw the horror.  Now I know I am not the only one that does this.  And I partially lay blame on the fact that I am single.  I know myself, and know how I am when there is a man present in my life.  And my house is usually clean.  But there is no man at my house.  At all.  So there is not that urge to have my house not look like a hot mess.  For the most part when the BFF and I just had one kid each it was not a problem.  It was when the bottom three came that things got so out of hand.  Most of my friends expect it or accept it.  And the kids...they are no help at all.  The BFF and I have said that once school starts this year there will be rules.  The first two weeks they are in school a group of four moms are going to get together and hit all four of our houses.  Do a huge spring cleaning type thing.  Go through each others houses and throw stuff away, move stuff around, just clean the shit out of it.  After that, every evening we are going to make the kids get a snack, do homework, clean for thirty minutes and then a little time for play before baths and bed.  I am hoping we can stick to it.  And maybe get the kids in the habit of cleaning up after themselves. Hopefully also make it easier on the adults to help it stay clean.  I am looking forward to that.  I am sick to death of having my house look horrible.  It wears me out.

So do you do this?  Or have friends that do?  Did you do it and how did you fix it?  And please do not say it did not get better till the kids went to college.  The youngest is five and I cannot wait that long for a clean house.  Is it that big of a deal?  I would much rather my kids remember when I am gone because we had fun and danced in the kitchen and sang at the top of our lungs than because we had a spotless house.

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