i have been quite absent this year. things have been hectic. i thought i would update my two readers though. Lil'K has been struggling so much lately. i am sure i have covered some of this but my mind is being consumed by menopause and general motherness. so i will recap.

Lil'K hit the terrible twos stage. and she never seemed to come out of it. ever. things got progressively worse. in pre-k she was more or less 'kicked out'. she was way ahead of everyone else and it was only half a day. which really caused a lot more problems than it solved. kindergarten was difficult. her teacher has been there forever. but she still loves the kids. she is a good teacher. just not a good fit for my child. i really just hoped that first grade would be better. more to learn. well it has been a nightmare. i have had to miss at least a dozen days of work to pick her up. she gets to the point they cannot handle her. she hates the counselor. which is not good. she loves her teacher but where we live they switch classes in the first grade. so she technically has three teachers. her main teacher she loves with all her heart. one of the other teachers she rarely has trouble with. but the third. she is young. very young. and new. and in my opinion has no idea how to control anything other than normal children. so my daughter has been a hassle. the administration has no idea what to do with her. and to top it off we do live in a small district. i have a friend that is local to me. she has two boys. almost the same age as my girls. they are both special needs. she has been a huge help to me. i initiated an ARD. i even pulled out the code of federal regulation and read the entire section on what school districts legally have to do. they were slightly dragging their feet, as they have quite a bit of time to get things accomplished. well, low and behold, Lil'K had a full on crazy fit. soooo things got sped up a little bit. let me back up a bit. after i had her i suffered BAD from postpartum depression. so for the longest time i thought her behavior was my fault. it got to a boiling point about six years ago. she was throwing one of her tantrums that she is known for, and i decided to just walk away. a whole ten feet into the kitchen. my house is pretty open so she was just behind me. in the living room. doing her rolling on the floor and growling that makes her famous. then started the kicking. i could still hear the growling and humming. so things were on track. maybe this one would not last as long. i took a minute to glance back at her, as i was doing at least every minute or so and...oh. my. Big G. she had the vacuum cleaner cord around her neck. and was pulling. this was the last straw. that week i made an appointment with our local MHMR. i do not have insurance and her sperm donor has never carried it on her. they got us in pretty quick due to her trying to self injure. she has been medicated. and we have made the appointments. but money is tight. and between the meds and the appointments it is getting a little tight. now enter the school stuff. she did her cognitive testing and of course she is way above average. which i already knew. she had her psych eval yesterday. the doctor actually called me. on my cell phone. i could not believe it. they usually do not do that. we had a very long conversation. she is thinking bipolar. but there may be something else underneath. i always knew it. but hearing it is something else. i cried. but then thought about it. knowing is half the battle. it gives you a direction to head in. it gives you something. so we will continue on. the next step is getting her report. and having to go to the board. to see what services they will offer her. she will not need to many services. but they can be creative with her. help her. and learn how to make things easier for her at school. that is all i can hope for. the days are hard. it will be hard. but it will be something we can get through.

once it sets in that the girl who was not even sure she wanted kids has in the matter of six months became the mother to two special needs children. things happen.

3 comments

1. supahmommy- somethin's wrong with that girl on April 28, 2012 at 9:39 PM

   That is EXHAUSTING to read MOMMA.
   
   I'm buying you a drink.
   
   Seriously.
   
   Your path has purpose.
   xo

    
2. Ms. G on May 2, 2012 at 10:17 AM

   Hey sweetie. Hang in there and don't stop fighting for what you need. Most states have a childrens health insurance program that is no or little cost to the parent. It's for families that do not qualify for medicaid. Premiums depend on income but are extremely low and like I said, sometimes 0. They usually offer some behavioral services coverage too. They are sometimes quiet about it but the school might have applications or info.

    
3. Loco YaYa on May 9, 2012 at 2:08 PM

   thanks ladies. Supah i will take that drink. no need for a fancy straw...i will just gulp it down. and motpg - thank you. as always. wise words.