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A Little Loco...

Just the ramblings of a crazy Mom of two beautiful girls (and YaYa to many children that I adore) navigating through my snafu'd life. This blog is my way of 'clearing the cobwebs' and trying to maintain my sanity.

I have a chaotic life full of kids, rebuilding after our house burnt, coffee, my best girls, mornings in my breezeway, blogging, a full time job, screaming kids, laundry, remodeling, Asperger's/OCD Big'K, mowing, taking the trash out, Bipolar w/psychosis and RAD Lil'K, a crazy family, more kids thrown in the mix, bad plumbing, laughing until I pee my pants, electrical malfunctions, and everything else the Big G thinks He needs to throw at me on this ride we call life, all the while trying to survive being a single mother. Because let's face it...every day that I wake up, I am outnumbered!

Dec 31

Where Did The Time Go?

Today I woke up a little earlier than the girls.  I have the day off, it is Friday and that is the norm.  Instead of laying in bed until my body just absolutely made me get up I decided to go on ahead get up, dressed, and have some coffee.  It is very rare that I have a morning to just...enjoy.  Usually we are rushing to get out of the house on time for school or work and they just seem to go by too quickly.  Add to that the fact that I am not a morning person what-so-ever and you have few and far between mornings that are enjoyed by mom.  For some reason today was different.  It is the last day of the year.  The last day of the decade for that matter.  All I could think about while I was laying in bed, was how quickly it had all gone by.  What was different about me, what had changed in the last decade.  A decade.  Ten years.  Crap that is a long time.  But so quick in many respects also.  It scares me that time can just fly by so quickly.  Have I wasted the time I have had?  Have I spent it wisely?  What do I need to do in the coming decades?  Strange to think that a decade has flown by when there were days that seemed like they would never end.  Moments that time stopped.  Months that you felt you would never recover.  Years lost in depression and some overflowing with happiness.  The realization that life is what it is.  Is it all we have?  Who knows.  But if we let it slip by and have nothing but regrets then we have wasted it.  Why is it that you do not realize this until your 30's?  I could have used some of this wisdom in my teens, or even just a decade ago.  What will I realize in the next ten years?  What will have changed?



How much has changed in the last ten years?

I went from being 24 to 34 and oh what a difference that ten years makes.  My body no longer wants to or never mind remembers how to do things that seemed to come so easily back then.  My lady parts have been ripped out and sent to a landfill.  Menopause is not for the faint of heart.  Night sweats, old lady hands, and hot flashes have become the normal.  My boobs have been cut down by 6 pounds and why the hell did I not do that sooner?  Tumors have been removed from various parts of my body and 'anesthesia head' is not a mystery.  It is solved.  And I have had it quite a few times in the last decade.  My 3 year old is now a teenager and at some point halfway through I had another one that is now five.  I have changed jobs at least 8 times and job fields twice.  I have been deployed in the military.  Blown out my knee.  Attended a ton of concerts.  Watched way too many people leave this earth and attended too many funerals.  I have partied with some of my best friends and made new ones both in real life and here on the webiverse.  I learned what a blog was, how to twitter, that facebook can lead me to people I thought were lost forever, and found out that I love social media.  I have opened my heart up, complained, bitched, celebrated, thanked and in general opened up my soul on line for all the world to see...and was rewarded for it.  Cell phones and T.V's have gotten smaller but smarter and more houses have internet and computers than record players and VHS tapes.  Cell phones fit in your ears and computers fit in your hands.  Now I am just waiting on the flying cars!  2001 brought the death of Big'K's father, the 10 year anniversary of the death of my mother, and a bunch of assholes trying to blow up our beautiful U.S.of A.  Flying has become more of a pain in the ass, driving has become expensive, minimum wage has increased and most people are still struggling.  The presidents have changed in more than just the color of their party.  I have seen things happen that I did not think I would see in my lifetime and pray for other things that I hope I do.  People have both amazed and disgusted me, but still manage to surprise me every day.  I have grown up, changed, and experienced things that were new to me.  I have loved, lost, laughed, cried, puked, screamed, had breakdowns, been depressed, scared, thankful and regretted past decisions.  The power of mom and women in general has amazed me and continues to do so every time I pull up this world that was somewhat foreign a decade ago that has become part of my everyday life.  I have recognized my shortcomings, embraced depression, realized how much I have screwed up my kids, not thanked my BFF enough, held on to people I should have let go of, and not fought enough to keep some I waved bye to.  I have changed cars, changed houses, and changed dress sizes.

I have lost the girl I used to be and found a woman I did not know.

This last decade has been hard.  I can only pray that the coming decade is much better.  At the beginning of this year I decided to not make resolutions but solutions.  To change things.  I can tell by reading that post that I was a different person then; yes, even just a year ago.  This last year has been hard.  Really hard.  I did do some of the things I had wanted to in my 'solution' for the new year post.  Some I did not and failed miserably at.  I think you can have the best of expectations but things happen.  Things that shape you, even when you are resistant.  In the end I guess it is just preparing you for who you will be.  Maybe not having any expectations is the best way to go.  Not having resolutions or solutions, not trying to make things happen; rather, just letting it happen.  Going with the flow, shaping your way but mostly just riding.  I do know I have no idea what the answer is, even though I try to convince myself I do.  I have realized after this past decade that I really have no idea.  At all.  Maybe taking that revelation with me into the next decade will help to shape it a little better.  I do know I cannot imagine what this next year will hold.  I look forward to reading this a year from now and seeing where things have gone.

And I look forward to finding out more about the woman I have become, and maybe getting a little bit of that girl back...




I wish you all a Happy New Year and a Fabulous New Decade!  

May we all be blessed with more happiness, less grief, tons of love and the joy of finding ourselves!
Read More 0 comments | Posted by Loco YaYa | edit post
Oct 24

Challenging Children

It is no secret that I have a challenging five year old.  I say challenging, my therapist says it is a parenting problem.

Screw her.

She can take her for a week and see where she gets.

I recently, within the last three months, have changed my parenting methods.  Or at least given it one hell of a go.  I have completely quit spanking.  (Yes, I was a spanker.  I am from the south.  It was the way I was raised.  Getoffme.)  I have also quit screaming.  I have gone to time outs and taking away things she loves.  There are a couple of problems with this new method:

1.  She will continue to push me until I am broken.  At which point all patience is gone.  And I will break, at which point I will scream.  (Although I have not spanked in quite a long while.  I have popped to get her attention.)
2.  In order to take away things she loves, I end up having to take away things from not only my oldest daughter, but myself as well.
3.  It is a very s.l.o.w. process.  One which I am struggling to complete.

I know that parenting does not come with an instruction manual.  I also know that this is something we sign up for during that unwritten contract that comes with being a parent.  However, I also thought parenting was not something that should/would produce tears on a daily basis.  At least not the bad kind.

I am at the end of my proverbial rope.  I have been hung.  My daughter has twisted, turned, and beaten me into a person I no longer like being.  It is exhausting.  And sad.  I get that she is hard headed.  Stubborn.  Independent.  Strong willed.  And recently has lost control of a few areas of her life.  Yes, even five year olds need to be in control of something.  They like the feeling and need to have at least a little bit of control.  Just like us big people.  With some of the changes that have taken place in the last quarter of a year, she is no longer in control.  This is part of the reason for the fits.  The other part I am sure has something to do with my lack of a routine.  The chaos she causes can sometimes make a routine hard to accomplish.  I do understand there are other things that cause the fits.  What I do not understand is why?  Even though she sees me trying.  Even though she understands what it does to me, her sister, and everyone around her.  Even though it makes her life increasingly harder each time.  Why?  What makes her need to see me broken so strong?  What makes her just not care?

What is so sad is that she can be a great kid.  She can be so sweet and caring.  She is so intelligent and soaks up everything new like a sponge.  I love seeing her grow and change.  She is funny and likes to make other people laugh.  She likes to help and know that she has helped.  She can be so on top of things.  Be perceptive of things that normal five year olds would not even pick up on.  Loves to help cook and set the table.  Understands how to do laundry and will offer to sweep and mop.  Constantly sings.  She can be amazing.

Mostly just for other people.  Lately, as soon as I walk in all bets are over.  She just spent the entire weekend at my aunt's house.  Somewhere she has never stayed before.  She was perfect.  They went on and on about what a joy she was to have over and would love to have her again.  She was so polite and sweet.  And then ten minutes before we left, went all Rosemary on us.  Over chocolate milk.  Really?  Chocolate fucking milk??  Calgon, drown me in bubbles.  I was so embarrassed and shocked.  Well maybe shocked is not the right word.  Nothing shocks me anymore when it comes to her swings.  I just could not believe it.  In one instant she turned a great weekend into a nightmare.  And since we have gotten home it has been a struggle.  Now, she just ran in here so proud of the fact that she read the word "TAP".  Completely different child from 30 minutes ago.  The therapist brings up words like Bi-Polar and Defiance Disorder.  I think of words more like 'my payback' and 'so much like her mother'.  Either way, something has to change.

I know that there are many other moms out there that have had to deal with difficult children.  Whether it was when they were younger or older.  I know that the teenage years are yet to come.  I am just hoping that she gets most of this out of her system before then.  I am just hoping I survive till then.

What worked for you?  How did you survive?  Have you figured out the why?
Read More 3 comments | Posted by Loco YaYa | edit post
Sep 19

Let's Get Religulous For a Second

**This will be a post that will contain in parts religious material.  I cannot promise it will not end up a rant due to my mood as of late, however it may just end up being terribly serious.  Or it could be funny.  Either way you have been warned.  I know we all practice different religions (or none at all), and while I love a good comment or debate I ask that you not bash or be disrespectful towards any religion.

 It is no secret that I am not an overly religious person.  I grew up Catholic with a cradle Catholic family on both sides.  Yes, we are from the South.  No, we are not Baptist.  Yes, it happens.  And just in case you are not aware, cradle Catholics are basically people that are born into the Catholic religion and that is that.  You are 'Catholic from the cradle'.

Both of my parents came from huge Catholic families.  My grandmother on my mother's side was one of fourteen, and had four of her own; and my father's mother was one of five, but had eight of her own.  Needless to say that is a whole lotta rosary beads being prayed on!  I remember growing up going to church.  It was just what you did.  You went to CCD on Wednesday afternoon and then had a spaghetti dinner that evening.  Sports?  Nope.  Not on Wednesday.  There was church.  You only went to one mass on the weekend...either Saturday evening, Sunday early mass, or Sunday 1000 mass.  Some parishes had a Sunday evening mass, and we thought those people were lucky.  See, it did not matter where you went.  If it was summer and you were on vacation, you could bet your parents had already found the local church.  There was no getting around it.  You. were. going.  There were sacraments to be made and in a certain frame of time.  You made it to school?  You were going to CCD.  You were sick and could not go to school?  If you were not contagious, you were going to CCD.  There were times that I dreaded it.  But no matter how much I protested, I would not win.  Big G would.  And in my family, he always would.

Now do not get me wrong, my parents were not 'tell everybody you know why they should come to our church' type people.  We were Catholic after all, and we just did not go around converting people.  Our church community was tight-knit.  When a family in the parish was suffering we pitched in.  Food was a staple.  Someone sick?  We cooked.  Someone pass?  We cooked.  Have a new baby?  We cooked.  Maybe that is where I get the need to cook so much from.  We always had food.  If there was a family that had fallen on hard times, then we would have 'family dinners' with tons of extra family.  It was the way it was. And I loved it.  Being Catholic is more than just hitting up church in your Sunday best two or three times a week.  To get together with your 'church family' and show off the new car, or purse.  To be Godly in his presence and then turn around and talk bad about people.  To tout that we do not drink or dance and then hit up the club the night before.  It is a way of life.  And by sweet goodness, if we do gossip or talk bad or stay out drinking too late one night, we go to confession.  I am not bashing anyone else.  We just have some overly overly overly religious friends who are constantly spouting scripture and wrapping up venom in prayer and thinking it is OK.  All the while claiming to be Christian in public.  That makes me irritated.  I do not claim to be perfect.  I do not expect others to be perfect.  I expect you to realize that neither one of us are, and accept it or move on down the road.  Do not wrap a 'I think what you're doing is wrong please Big G pray for these people and help me to keep my mouth shut' package and proclaim it as his word.  It does not work that way in my world.  We are all different.  We all choose to believe or not believe certain things.  I am fine with that.  But do not tell me what I believe is wrong, and I will not tell you what you believe is wrong.  Because then you are doing it all wrong.  Big G made us all different for a reason.  And He wants us to get along and live in peace and love one another.  Not criticize each other, when really it's all the same Big G.

When I moved the summer before the third grade I was devastated.  I missed my friends and my family.  The first thing we did, was hit up the local parish and boom instant friends.  Matter of fact, one of my best friends still today, my Small Surgeon, was one of the first people I had met through school.  Why?  Because we were both Catholic, she was new, I was new, battabingbattaboom, instant friends.  We have stayed friends.  Her with her medical degree and me with my two heathens.  All because the church was in our lives.

One thing I have noticed over time is that at one time or another Catholic's will do one thing...stray from the church.  At one point or another in their lives, they get tired of the ritual and routine.  And they stray.  I strayed.  After I finished high school I really tried to continue with church but my anger over losing my mom was too strong.  And I hated Big G for taking her.  She was the church secretary, a devout Catholic and Christian woman, who had fought to have the kids she did.  She and my father were active in everything church, made sure they brought their kids up in the same loving environment, and were kind people.  Why on earth he chose to take her when she was so needed at home, made me angry.  It took me a long time to get over that anger with Big G.  But as a Catholic, I knew it would pass, he would forgive me, and I would return.  You see, it is that ritual and routine that as we get older we long for.  The 'I had to do it and you will too' part of it.  I was baptized, made my sacraments, enjoyed CYO, and did what I was supposed to do, and by the heavens so will my kids!

I tried to return when I was pregnant with Big'K and did for a long time.  After she was born I got her baptized.  After that I got back in it whole heartedly, was the CYO leader, taught CCD, and really enjoyed my time.  After a small disagreement with the priest for reasons I will not discuss, I left the church.  Completely.  After the birth of Lil'K, she was baptized, and I left again.  When Big'K hit second grade I realized that it just was not right.  I needed to get back in and get her sacraments on the right course.  When she was in the 5th grade we jumped in and got the ball rolling.  I have been back in the church off and on since then.  But about a year and a half or so ago I just felt empty.  Like I was missing something.  I started going to early mass after I got off my night shift and realized what it was.  I was missing my church.  The church I grew up in.  The church I had had a love/hate relationship with for so long.  I was ready.  Since then I have made an effort to get to mass every weekend, and get the kids there too.  I have really tried to make it a priority on the weekends to make sure we go.  Which, believe me, is just as surprising to me as it is to everyone else.  CCD started today and the girls were there.  Even Lil'K who had to wake up early just to be there.  She did great!  By the time we were half way through mass though, she began to get a bit sleepy and started to get fidgety.  But all in all it was OK.

Being back in church, seeing all the faces I remember from what seems like ages ago, is comforting.  I do not feel as if people are judging me, looking at me and the girls and thinking what I must have done.  It is all the same old eyes, and faces, and they are welcoming.  Most of them watched me grow up or grew up with me and now as adults are returning as well with families in tow.

That year and a half ago I do not know what made that push for me to feel like I needed more.  But the intensity of it hit even harder about 8 months ago.  I can feel something calling.  Something really deep.  I am just not sure what it is yet.  I mean I know what it is.  It is Him.  He wants me to do something.  For Him.  In His name.  I am just not sure what it is.  And being how flighty I am lately I do not want to commit to the things I see opening up at church just yet.  CYO leader.  CCD teacher.  Alter Society.  That is all just too much right now.  But I know He will push me and I will end up further into the church.  Like my mom was.  It is only a matter of time and He will get me back.  I had asked one of my cousins, who is a very big part of her parish, what I should do.  She told me  "One morning before mass I was overcome with emotion.  I had been getting very emotional after communion and could feel something stirring.  I was not happy in general and knew He was calling me.  I kneeled down and said a short prayer.  I told Him, if it was his will to just show me what He wanted me to do, that I was ready and would follow.  And He did.  So when you are ready, tell him and he will give it to you.  Just be careful and be sure you are ready."  It was some of the best religious advice I have ever received.

I am not an overly religious person.  I do not walk around making sure everyone knows I am Catholic.  I do not 'thank my Lord and Saviour and Father God above watching down on me' in public or out loud every time I am given the chance.  I know He is there.  He knows I am here.  I am good.  I do not go around and convert people, or tell them they should go to church.  Every once in a while I will say something or get a tiny bit religious about something.  But that is it.  But lately, when I go to mass, after communion I get emotional.  Moved to the point of tears.  And I just cannot help but feel he is calling me.  To do something.

But I know what will happen when I tell Him I am ready.

And I am just not sure I am ready yet.

But eventually I will be, and he will accept me, and forgive me, and lead me.  And I will feel whole again.  I hope this time comes soon.  And although I may not be praying for him to lead me at the moment I am praying that he makes me open to his wishes.  And helps me to prepare to get ready.

And that my friends is the religulous side of your YaYa.
Read More 2 comments | Posted by Loco YaYa | edit post
Sep 16

What Crazy Will Get You

crazy is relative.  it can mean a ton of things.  and just for s&g i will list what the internets has to say about it:


  • brainsick: affected with madness or insanity; "a man who had gone mad"
  • foolish; totally unsound; "a crazy scheme"; "half-baked ideas"; "a screwball proposal without a prayer of working"
  • possessed by inordinate excitement; "the crowd went crazy"; "was crazy to try his new bicycle"
  • bizarre or fantastic; "had a crazy dream"; "wore a crazy hat"
  • someone deranged and possibly dangerous
  • intensely enthusiastic about or preoccupied with; "crazy about cars and racing"; "he is potty about her"

i know quite a few people that are crazy.  some that have the papers to prove it and others that are just horribly passionate about something.  lately i have been feeling quite crazy.  in the papers way.  not the fantastic way.  my moments of motivation are few and far between and when they hit i have to act.  and act fast, before they fade.  it is the reason my blog has been so lacking lately.  you see, i am a write blogger.  i like to write.  tell stories.  or give accounts of my life.  parts of my past, or present.  i am also an emotional blogger.  my writing is by emotion.  if i am mad that day i write a hateful post.  happy, then here comes the humor.  sad, and you get a sappy pull at your heart strings post.  lately i have just been crazy.  and nothing good comes from that really.  so i stay off the blog.  even when i sit and try to write a piece or article for our newsletter or website it starts out great but comes out twisted by my emotions.  hence the vaccination post the other day.  it was meant to be a thought provoking piece, and turned into a rant.  because i was crazy emotional that day.  

i think one of the only good things out of my kind of crazy is, not only is it justified on a few counts, but i see it.  i really do see it.  i know when i am having an off day, and i hate it.  i want it to be better but just cannot pull it out of myself.  when i am on it, i am on it. and it is awesome.  today i am motivated.  and i have gotten more done by 1000 a.m. than i have gotten done in the last month.  those days are few and far between right now.  i have noticed that, even though i am broke, the more i get out of the house the more it helps.  sometimes that means just sitting in a parking lot by myself and watching the day.  the cars.  the people.  the birds.  the air.  it just helps.  i cannot explain why.  i am a very social person.  i need to be out and about sometimes to just get myself right.  

i have great friends.  like great to the point i cannot even explain it, but because this is me we are talking about, you know i will try.  they come over, they try to make me better.  try to get me motivated.  try to get me out of my slump.  and i see that they are trying to help.  and at that moment all i can do is try to not be mean.  but sometimes the YaYa they know is just not in there at that moment. it is only Loco.  and well, no one really likes her.  i have also noticed that lately, as in the last year, i have been so negative.  i complain about everything.  the positive has left.  i used to be so positive.  you can ask any one of my 20+ year friends.  i was the driving force when we were younger.  the motivator.  the one that was always smiling.  but now, meh.  i am so tired of being negative.  even when i try to be positive, it just creeps back in.  i know it is not healthy.  for my family.  my friends.  myself.

i know i will return.  and i know when i do it will be fine.  it is just getting there that sucks.  i also know we all have days like this.  and all i can do is be so thankful i have the friends i have.  that are, after all these years, willing to hang around and try so hard.  and give so much.
Read More 0 comments | Posted by Loco YaYa | edit post
Sep 13

Vaccines and Kids...My Rant

I normally do not get all up in arms about such things.  I am not someone that prides myself on being overly gung ho about the no vaccines, attachment parenting, breast feeding, and natural births.  Do not get me wrong, if you can and did breast feed - great.  If you were able to have a natural birth - even better.  I could not do either and do not begrudge anyone who was in the same boat as I was.  I will not jam it down your throat.  Some people cannot have natural births or breast feed.  Some people can.  Hoorah for those that can.  I think it is the most natural way and should, when applicable, be done.  There are people that promote and educate about the reasons why you should do the above mentioned things.  I think it is great.  Had I been more aware and educated on the options things may have gone different.  Had I had the foresight to push for a natural birth and make sure that was first on my list I would have done it.  Had I tried to have Big'K in a tub in my kitchen we both probably would have died.  I respect the people that can do those things even though I could not, and would not dream of giving them hell because they could not.  It is what it is.

Vaccinations.  I have some acquaintances that refuse to get their kids vaccinated.  You know what?  That is fine.  I work in the medical field and know all too well what some of these vaccines can do.  But, I also work in the medical field and know all too well what some of these diseases can do.  There are some diseases that we really do need vaccines for.  Smallpox is one.  Yes it has been eradicated since the 1970's.  The last recorded case in the U.S. was in 1949.  The disease was certified eradicated in 1980 by the WHO.  Awesome.  It is also the ONLY human disease to ever be eradicated.  Polio - ok.  I get that one too.  Hepatitis B - get it.  I am in the healthcare business.  I got my vaccination in order to protect myself.  I am glad my children also received the vaccination as no one who leaves the lab will ever go home free of some type of possibly infectious material on them.  Think you do?  Check the bottom of your shoes.  Short of completely showering down, changing clothes, and remaining sterile until you get home...it does not happen.  I mean really you can walk to the local store and step in something someone hocked up and track it into your house.  Diphtheria, Tetanus, Measles, Mumps, Rubella -still tracking.  Pertussis - meh.  Ok.  No major issues with this one.  Meningococcal (Meningitis vaccine) - I am still not 100% on this one.  Big'K was not able to get this vaccine.  The Texas State Health Department nurse (RN) would not give it to her, for the reason I am about to get into (which is the main point of this rant).  Now I am not one of those mothers that believes that vaccines give kids autism.  I do believe that introducing certain ones together may push the body into a state that it cannot handle, therefore opening up a propensity for autism that may have been laying dormant.  Big'K was a semi-normal kid.  Progressing as she should have, until age two vaccines.  And all of that changed.  Now?  Aspie.  Read into it what you want.

Chicken Pox - Now I have a problem.  Yes, if a pregnant woman gets the chicken pox it can be harmful/fatal to her fetus.  I understand that.  In most cases, chicken pox is not fatal.  It can be fatal in immuno compromised people and older patients.  I get that too.  I do understand that it causes parents to be off work.  Single mom here...totally understand.  I am talking about a healthy child.  Things are ok.  Itching, burning, spots, sores, scars...yeah I had em all.  I had a very severe case of the chicken pox.  Horrible.  The people at Dairy Queen in Lumberton would not serve me because they thought I had HIV due to the severity of my lesions.  It. was. bad. people.  But I lived and short of the scars made it through.  Yes it lasted over two weeks.  Yes I had to be taken to the doctor a few times because it got down into my throat.  I get it.  My poor mother.  The hell she must have gone through.  But I also remember all the neighborhood kids coming over and playing.  To 'get it over with' for the other parents.  It was like a party.  "Oh...Little Suzy has the pox?  Great!  We will be over for playtime in half an hour!"  Parents did that because it could be dangerous and deadly to catch it as an adult.  So parents everywhere made sure their kids got it out of their systems early.  I do understand that at that time most families had a stay at home parent.  Schools also were not as asinine about truancy.

Here is my issue with the Chicken Pox Vaccination.  This is my opinion.  And mine only.  This is based on what I know as a mother and as a healthcare professional.

The shingles.  An old people disease.  Right?  Wrong.  You can only contract the shingles if you have had the chicken pox.  It was considered an old people disease.  When their body was stressed out or immuno compromised they would come down with the shingles.  Which was left over virus from the Chicken Pox that had 'gone to sleep' in a root nerve somewhere in your body, usually the spine.  Now.  We are vaccinating our children against the Chicken Pox.  Which puts the virus in their bodies.  Our bodies cannot fight off all of the virus, so little pieces parts 'go to sleep' in a nerve somewhere.  Are you tracking?  Now enter adolescence.  you are exposed to tons of stress.  Athletics, school work, other kids and their illness', deploying parents, new sisters and brothers, etc.  Stress is everywhere.

Big'K got the shingles at age seven.  Yes.  I said seven!  When her new little not yet vaccinated sister was only six weeks old.  She spent over a month wrapped in gauze, coban, and double layered with long sleeve shirts and hoodies.  She could not touch her sister or anything I would touch and then touch her sister.  Shingles in itself is not contagious.  But coming in contact with the blisters can cause a case of the Chicken Pox.  And in an infant it can be dangerous.  So I did my best to keep the two of them apart.  It was horrible.  She had to be out of public, for fear someone else (at this time) was walking around with a child that had not been vaccinated.  Did I mention that it is painful?  And can be for years.  She still hurts.  Her root nerve was up at the base of her neck, so it spread down her right arm.  She still has shooting pain down her right arm and in the back of her neck.  When we visited the hospital, because I could not believe I was seeing what I was seeing on my seven year old, we had to see five (count them five) doctors before Thank Big G an infectious disease doctor happened to be on call and was called into our E.R. room, and confirmed that it was definitely the shingles.  Here's the kicker...he said there were upwards of seven children that had been in that week alone for the shingles.  Ranging from eighteen months to fourteen years old.  I was floored.  But this is an old peoples disease?!?  How can my seven year old, as well as all these other children, have it?!?

Fast forward to the week before school.  I find out Big'K is missing a few vaccinations.  The booster for the Chicken Pox, DTaP, and her Meningococcal.  Because she had the shingles I could exempt her from the booster for the CP.  Easy enough.  Although trying to convince everyone I came in contact with that she actually did have the shingles was a different matter all together.  We head to her semi-regular doctor.  They give her the DTaP and are out of the Meningococcal.  Awesome.  This means a trip to the health department.  Understandably, one of my most favorite places.  Insert sarcasm here.  After sitting there for over half an hour, which makes it now closing time for them, we get back to see the nurse.  As we are going over her medical history I bring up the fact that she had the shingles.  This is the conversation:

Me - Oh yeah, she had the shingles at age seven.
RN - You mean the chicken pox. (Not a question, a statement)

Me - No.  The shingles.
RN - Ma'am, kids do not get the shingles.  You are wrong.
Me - No. Ma'am, she did have the shingles.  She was seven.  I am not wrong nor am I stupid.
RN - Well unless you had an official diagnosis you cannot say she had the shingles and you need to mark that she had the chicken pox.
Me - I did have an official diagnosis from **** Hospital in Beaumont.  It was confirmed by the infectious disease Dr. on call at the time, as well as two other physicians, a PA, NP, and three nurses.
RN - Well I have never seen that in my 12 years of being a nurse.
Me - Well I have seen it at least six times in children since then coming into my E.R.  With positive confirmatory testing from me, the lab tech.
RN - Well then I am not giving her the Meningococcal vaccine.  The shingles is a disease that affects the nervous system and all I'm saying is that for a seven year old to be so stressed out that she got the shingles then something else is going on.  It increases the chance that she could have a severe allergic reaction to the Men vaccine and I am not going to be held accountable for that.  I mean what could have had her so stress out at seven is all I'm saying.
Me - Hmmm...well let me see...her father died.  I had been deployed for a year in the military.  And she had a new baby sister, new house, new school, and my blood pressure had been so high during that pregnancy I almost died.  So you figure it out.
RN - *blink blink*

I believe that had Big'K not gotten the chicken pox vaccination she would not have had the shingles.  I believe that there is something different about the vaccine vs. getting it naturally that makes the virus more susceptible to jumping straight to the shingles at such a young age.  Do I have medical proof?  No.  But I just know.  How about the increase in adolescent shingles in the last decade.  When before it was virtually unheard of.  Shingles is painful.  It is horrible.  And the reason this rant is busting out now...is because I think she is having another outbreak.  At twelve.  She has been under a lot of stress lately.  Athletics is kicking her ass, AP classes have her doing more work, and as normal her sister is psychotic challenging.  Add into all this the fact that we just spent a nice quiet weekend without Lil'K, who as soon as she walked in the door started giving Big'K hell and has not let up.  

So now, three weeks into school, I am faced with the fact that Big'K may possibly be having another outbreak of shingles.  She has had two small blister spots come up.  She is itching, and today started hurting in her arm and neck.  Freaking awesome.

Now every medical professional I have talked to, and every online journal I have Googled, says that shingles is not contagious.  That in children who have had chicken pox or the vaccine it seems to be of no worry.  In children that have not been vaccinated, it can cause a case of the chicken pox.  It seems to be ok for her to attend school, per all the professionals and journals.  My question is this...how do they know that with all the vaccinated children that it will not cause some other type of reaction?  Maybe force that 'sleeping' nerve to jump up and bust out the shingles?  Or even worse cause a different reaction in those already vaccinated vs. those that got it naturally (if that even happens anymore)?  And with people running around that refuse to get their kids vaccinated, is that even safe?  Is that something you are willing to take a chance on?  Not me.  So, if it is in fact the shingles again, we may be facing three to five weeks of out of school.  Now what?  That long would result in her having to repeat a grade.  There is not a 'full' outbreak, or enough for me to take her to a ID doctor yet.  But I just have a feeling.  The itching, burning in the arm, pain, blisters.  It has happened before.  And it is deja vu.  So now a waiting game.  Sit and wait another 48 hours to see if anymore blisters pop up.  Then contact the doctor and then the principal to see what to do.



Really Big G?


I am beginning to think I was Bonnie Parker in a previous life.  Bad karma coming from somewhere.




Read More 1 Comment | Posted by Loco YaYa | edit post
Sep 13

Vaccines and Kids...My Rant

I normally do not get all up in arms about such things.  I am not someone that prides myself on being overly gung ho about the no vaccines, attachment parenting, breast feeding, and natural births.  Do not get me wrong, if you can and did breast feed - great.  If you were able to have a natural birth - even better.  I could not do either and do not begrudge anyone who was in the same boat as I was.  I will not jam it down your throat.  Some people cannot have natural births or breast feed.  Some people can.  Hoorah for those that can.  I think it is the most natural way and should, when applicable, be done.  There are people that promote and educate about the reasons why you should do the above mentioned things.  I think it is great.  Had I been more aware and educated on the options things may have gone different.  Had I had the foresight to push for a natural birth and make sure that was first on my list I would have done it.  Had I tried to have Big'K in a tub in my kitchen we both probably would have died.  I respect the people that can do those things even though I could not, and would not dream of giving them hell because they could not.  It is what it is.

Vaccinations.  I have some acquaintances that refuse to get their kids vaccinated.  You know what?  That is fine.  I work in the medical field and know all too well what some of these vaccines can do.  But, I also work in the medical field and know all too well what some of these diseases can do.  There are some diseases that we really do need vaccines for.  Smallpox is one.  Yes it has been eradicated since the 1970's.  The last recorded case in the U.S. was in 1949.  The disease was certified eradicated in 1980 by the WHO.  Awesome.  It is also the ONLY human disease to ever be eradicated.  Polio - ok.  I get that one too.  Hepatitis B - get it.  I am in the healthcare business.  I got my vaccination in order to protect myself.  I am glad my children also received the vaccination as no one who leaves the lab will ever go home free of some type of possibly infectious material on them.  Think you do?  Check the bottom of your shoes.  Short of completely showering down, changing clothes, and remaining sterile until you get home...it does not happen.  I mean really you can walk to the local store and step in something someone hocked up and track it into your house.  Diphtheria, Tetanus, Measles, Mumps, Rubella -still tracking.  Pertussis - meh.  Ok.  No major issues with this one.  Meningococcal (Meningitis vaccine) - I am still not 100% on this one.  Big'K was not able to get this vaccine.  The Texas State Health Department nurse (RN) would not give it to her, for the reason I am about to get into (which is the main point of this rant).  Now I am not one of those mothers that believes that vaccines give kids autism.  I do believe that introducing certain ones together may push the body into a state that it cannot handle, therefore opening up a propensity for autism that may have been laying dormant.  Big'K was a semi-normal kid.  Progressing as she should have, until age two vaccines.  And all of that changed.  Now?  Aspie.  Read into it what you want.

Chicken Pox - Now I have a problem.  Yes, if a pregnant woman gets the chicken pox it can be harmful/fatal to her fetus.  I understand that.  In most cases, chicken pox is not fatal.  It can be fatal in immuno compromised people and older patients.  I get that too.  I do understand that it causes parents to be off work.  Single mom here...totally understand.  I am talking about a healthy child.  Things are ok.  Itching, burning, spots, sores, scars...yeah I had em all.  I had a very severe case of the chicken pox.  Horrible.  The people at Dairy Queen in Lumberton would not serve me because they thought I had HIV due to the severity of my lesions.  It. was. bad. people.  But I lived and short of the scars made it through.  Yes it lasted over two weeks.  Yes I had to be taken to the doctor a few times because it got down into my throat.  I get it.  My poor mother.  The hell she must have gone through.  But I also remember all the neighborhood kids coming over and playing.  To 'get it over with' for the other parents.  It was like a party.  "Oh...Little Suzy has the pox?  Great!  We will be over for playtime in half an hour!"  Parents did that because it could be dangerous and deadly to catch it as an adult.  So parents everywhere made sure their kids got it out of their systems early.  I do understand that at that time most families had a stay at home parent.  Schools also were not as asinine about truancy.

Here is my issue with the Chicken Pox Vaccination.  This is my opinion.  And mine only.  This is based on what I know as a mother and as a healthcare professional.

The shingles.  An old people disease.  Right?  Wrong.  You can only contract the shingles if you have had the chicken pox.  It was considered an old people disease.  When their body was stressed out or immuno compromised they would come down with the shingles.  Which was left over virus from the Chicken Pox that had 'gone to sleep' in a root nerve somewhere in your body, usually the spine.  Now.  We are vaccinating our children against the Chicken Pox.  Which puts the virus in their bodies.  Our bodies cannot fight off all of the virus, so little pieces parts 'go to sleep' in a nerve somewhere.  Are you tracking?  Now enter adolescence.  you are exposed to tons of stress.  Athletics, school work, other kids and their illness', deploying parents, new sisters and brothers, etc.  Stress is everywhere.

Big'K got the shingles at age seven.  Yes.  I said seven!  When her new little not yet vaccinated sister was only six weeks old.  She spent over a month wrapped in gauze, coban, and double layered with long sleeve shirts and hoodies.  She could not touch her sister or anything I would touch and then touch her sister.  Shingles in itself is not contagious.  But coming in contact with the blisters can cause a case of the Chicken Pox.  And in an infant it can be dangerous.  So I did my best to keep the two of them apart.  It was horrible.  She had to be out of public, for fear someone else (at this time) was walking around with a child that had not been vaccinated.  Did I mention that it is painful?  And can be for years.  She still hurts.  Her root nerve was up at the base of her neck, so it spread down her right arm.  She still has shooting pain down her right arm and in the back of her neck.  When we visited the hospital, because I could not believe I was seeing what I was seeing on my seven year old, we had to see five (count them five) doctors before Thank Big G an infectious disease doctor happened to be on call and was called into our E.R. room, and confirmed that it was definitely the shingles.  Here's the kicker...he said there were upwards of seven children that had been in that week alone for the shingles.  Ranging from eighteen months to fourteen years old.  I was floored.  But this is an old peoples disease?!?  How can my seven year old, as well as all these other children, have it?!?

Fast forward to the week before school.  I find out Big'K is missing a few vaccinations.  The booster for the Chicken Pox, DTaP, and her Meningococcal.  Because she had the shingles I could exempt her from the booster for the CP.  Easy enough.  Although trying to convince everyone I came in contact with that she actually did have the shingles was a different matter all together.  We head to her semi-regular doctor.  They give her the DTaP and are out of the Meningococcal.  Awesome.  This means a trip to the health department.  Understandably, one of my most favorite places.  Insert sarcasm here.  After sitting there for over half an hour, which makes it now closing time for them, we get back to see the nurse.  As we are going over her medical history I bring up the fact that she had the shingles.  This is the conversation:

Me - Oh yeah, she had the shingles at age seven.
RN - You mean the chicken pox. (Not a question, a statement)

Me - No.  The shingles.
RN - Ma'am, kids do not get the shingles.  You are wrong.
Me - No. Ma'am, she did have the shingles.  She was seven.  I am not wrong nor am I stupid.
RN - Well unless you had an official diagnosis you cannot say she had the shingles and you need to mark that she had the chicken pox.
Me - I did have an official diagnosis from **** Hospital in Beaumont.  It was confirmed by the infectious disease Dr. on call at the time, as well as two other physicians, a PA, NP, and three nurses.
RN - Well I have never seen that in my 12 years of being a nurse.
Me - Well I have seen it at least six times in children since then coming into my E.R.  With positive confirmatory testing from me, the lab tech.
RN - Well then I am not giving her the Meningococcal vaccine.  The shingles is a disease that affects the nervous system and all I'm saying is that for a seven year old to be so stressed out that she got the shingles then something else is going on.  It increases the chance that she could have a severe allergic reaction to the Men vaccine and I am not going to be held accountable for that.  I mean what could have had her so stress out at seven is all I'm saying.
Me - Hmmm...well let me see...her father died.  I had been deployed for a year in the military.  And she had a new baby sister, new house, new school, and my blood pressure had been so high during that pregnancy I almost died.  So you figure it out.
RN - *blink blink*

I believe that had Big'K not gotten the chicken pox vaccination she would not have had the shingles.  I believe that there is something different about the vaccine vs. getting it naturally that makes the virus more susceptible to jumping straight to the shingles at such a young age.  Do I have medical proof?  No.  But I just know.  How about the increase in adolescent shingles in the last decade.  When before it was virtually unheard of.  Shingles is painful.  It is horrible.  And the reason this rant is busting out now...is because I think she is having another outbreak.  At twelve.  She has been under a lot of stress lately.  Athletics is kicking her ass, AP classes have her doing more work, and as normal her sister is psychotic challenging.  Add into all this the fact that we just spent a nice quiet weekend without Lil'K, who as soon as she walked in the door started giving Big'K hell and has not let up.  

So now, three weeks into school, I am faced with the fact that Big'K may possibly be having another outbreak of shingles.  She has had two small blister spots come up.  She is itching, and today started hurting in her arm and neck.  Freaking awesome.

Now every medical professional I have talked to, and every online journal I have Googled, says that shingles is not contagious.  That in children who have had chicken pox or the vaccine it seems to be of no worry.  In children that have not been vaccinated, it can cause a case of the chicken pox.  It seems to be ok for her to attend school, per all the professionals and journals.  My question is this...how do they know that with all the vaccinated children that it will not cause some other type of reaction?  Maybe force that 'sleeping' nerve to jump up and bust out the shingles?  Or even worse cause a different reaction in those already vaccinated vs. those that got it naturally (if that even happens anymore)?  And with people running around that refuse to get their kids vaccinated, is that even safe?  Is that something you are willing to take a chance on?  Not me.  So, if it is in fact the shingles again, we may be facing three to five weeks of out of school.  Now what?  That long would result in her having to repeat a grade.  There is not a 'full' outbreak, or enough for me to take her to a ID doctor yet.  But I just have a feeling.  The itching, burning in the arm, pain, blisters.  It has happened before.  And it is deja vu.  So now a waiting game.  Sit and wait another 48 hours to see if anymore blisters pop up.  Then contact the doctor and then the principal to see what to do.



Really Big G?


I am beginning to think I was Bonnie Parker in a previous life.  Bad karma coming from somewhere.




Read More 0 comments | Posted by Loco YaYa | edit post
Sep 13

Win For The Homefront

**Before you read this...do NOT judge me.  If you think you can do better you take her ass home with you!!  I have a 12 year old that behaves perfectly.

It is no secret that I have a challenging five year old.  She is me.  She is my payback.  And I totally get that.  The difference is...before the ripe age of five I had well learned that my parents were more stubborn than I and well they had the belt and in the end they were in charge.  Lil'K has not learned that I am the one in charge.  And to be honest even if she knows I am in charge she does not care.  And is ready to dethrone me at a moments notice.  It is a battle that is fought everyday.  It is challenging, frustrating, and leaves me feeling insane at the end of each day.  I have tried everything you can imagine...to no avail.  Lately, this issue has become a huge deal in my house.  My frustration with my children, most specifically the smallest, has had me wanting to run away to a distant island and sell coconut swim suits.  I love my children.  I understand this is what happens when you are a mother.  A parent.  There will be trials.  I will not win them all.  I get it.  I was a kid once too.  But my children leave me feeling like this is not what I was cut out for.  It really does not help when I am already fighting some of my own demons with the loss of job and financial issues that has brought, all the while trying to maintain a loving nurturing home with things like food.

Since she has started Kindergarten the battle has not stopped, I just get an eight hour reprieve from the war.  She came home with a permission slip for a field trip a week and a half ago.  Much to my surprise, Miss I Hate School begged and begged and pleaded to go.  The light bulb clicked on.  And boy did it shine!!

Me - Oh you have a field trip...that's nice.
Lil'K - Oh momma can I please please please go!  I want to go. Really Really bad mom.

Me - Well you know you cannot go if you act on your trip as you act at home.  The teachers have way too many kids to keep track of.  With the way you like to run off in public and hide in the clothes racks in the store, I am just afraid if I let you go you will get lost.  And honestly, the teachers just do not have the time to look for kids that stray.
Lil'K - Momma I promise I will not run off. I won't jump, or bounce, or skip, or run, or even leave the line.  I promise I will stay with my class.
Me - You know what, I am just not sure you are ready to go on a field trip without your mom.  Maybe next time.
Lil'K - {crying, sniffing, wailing, throwing oneself on the floor, devastation ensues}
Me - Ooooooh.  That is bad.  Now I really know you are not ready for a field trip.  What if you want something and they tell you that you may not have it?  Then what?  Will you hit the floor and have a tantrum?  They are not going to deal with that.  Then I will have to come pick you up before you even get to watch the show.
Lil'K - {devastation and destruction end, allbeit through watery eyes and a red nose}
Lil'K - Momma I will NOT act like that on my field trip.
Me - You say that but there is really no way for me to know.  You behave badly at home.  And I am afraid you will behave the same at school and on your trip.
Lil'K - {The wheels are turning}
Me - But mayyyyybeeee....if you could be good.  For a whole week.  Seven days.  No melt downs, or yelling, or fits, or crying unnecessarily or ANY bad behavior and then maybe I would sign your permission slip.
Lil'K - OK Momma I can do it!!
Me - We will see.

Don't let the cuteness fool you...she is a monster.  Monster I tell you!!!

And please let me tell you: P-E-R-F-E-C-T child.  For AN ENTIRE FREAKING ASS WEEK!!!  She stayed on green everyday in class, after getting on red twice the week before.  Had no meltdowns, no fits, no crazy major issues.  Now.  Am I proud of her for it? Yes.  Did I think she could do it?  No.  Am I glad she did it? Totally!  Does it make me even more angry? HELL YES.  And to top it off she even spent the weekend at my Dad and Stepmothers and was good.  And not just regular good...like good good.  Well mannered, yes ma'am and yes sirs, never cried for me, stayed two nights which is a miracle in and of itself. (I will tell you this was the calmest, quietest, awesomest weekend my house has seen in a very long time)  Are you freaking serious?!?!?  It really just proved, if nothing else, that when she wants something she is aware of how she acts and can and will pull off proper behavior.  And to be honest...IT PISSES ME OFF!!!

I got an email from her K teacher this morning reminding me that the money and slip were due by Wednesday, and if Lil'K was not attending the field trip that I needed to note it and send back the slip.  This was my reply:  

"She will be going. I used the field trip as a bribe for last week.  One week of good behavior = me signing the field trip note. Wrong? Maybe.  But she behaved better in the last week than she has in the last year.  I will have the money and pink sheet signed for her to bring tomorrow.  If she can find her pink sheet.  Is it possible to send another one home with her today just in case?

Sorry I waited so long but I have to pick my battles and this one was a win for the home team!"

Her response:

" Hey whatever works! "

Have I mentioned I love her K teacher???

Why can she not act like this all the time?  Why must she give me hell every day of my life?  I am truly beginning to think it is me.  She just does not like me.  And that is plain nuts.

So yes.  I used mental warfare.  And yes.  I won.  Is it fair?  Absolutely!!  Is it right?  Meh.  The jury is still out on this one.  We have another outing, for the family, coming up soon.  You can bet your ass I will use the same tactic for that one as well!  I have to choose my battles.  And I won this one.  


Score for the home team!!!
Read More 0 comments | Posted by Loco YaYa | edit post
Sep 02

Inventors, Creators and Asshats.

As a people I truly believe we would not be where we were today without those that broke from the herd.  Those that when everyone else was turning right, they decided to turn left.  Create something new.  Strive to change the status quo.  Sometimes those bouts of rebellion are needed.  In order for us to grow.  As people.  Both individuals and as a species.  All people; not black, not white, not brown, not yellow, not purple.  Just -- a people.

Had someone not gotten tired of riding horses and the longness of the trip we would not have cars and trucks.  Something we take for granted every day.  Had someone not had the drive to keep people from being sick and the bravery to eat that mold on the bread, we would be plagued by simple diseases.  Had someone not yearned to connect with fellow people all around the world, we would not have phones or the internet.  Two things I cannot live without.  Or at least it seems that way.

Without people to buck the system things would never change.  Sometimes change can be hard.  OK.  All the time.  We get used to things 'the way they are'.  Then along comes change, with resistance, and things can be better.  Sometimes it is not.  But more often than not if we just go ahead and let the change slowly happen, we will see a better or more convenient way of doing things.  Safer.  More economic.  Faster.

Breaking out of the mold and leaving the herd behind to think freely and invent and discover is how we grow.  It is what makes us who we are.  Technology.  Medicine.  Fashion.  Art.  And even war.  Many things have come about because someone just could not keep on the standard path.  And how awesome it is that these people were brave and sometimes stupid enough to accomplish what they dreamed of.

To those inventors, creators, masterminds...I say "Way to go!!".

And to all the people that continue to to go the wrong way in the car rider vs. bus line at my local elementary... YOU ARE ASSHATS.  I understand the way of getting there is different from what we have done for the last 50 years.  I get it.  I also find it unnerving to have to use the highway entrance.  I too have used the back way for as long as I have been driving.  However, this rule was put there to keep the kids safe.  YOUR kids safe.  MY kids safe.  It was also put there to keep you safe while driving, to keep you and the buses (which are carrying our kids) from running into a space issue on the small country road.  You know what I will even give you the benefit of the doubt.  Before 0720, fine, you win.  Use the side entrance.  I do.  There are not as many buses coming in.  But after 0730 just do what they ask us to do.  In this instance you are not breaking from the heard, or changing the status quo.  You are endangering lives.  And that, does not make you a martyr...it makes you an idiot.

I am done.
Read More 1 Comment | Posted by Loco YaYa | edit post
Aug 31

New Shoes and School Supplies

Every community, big or small, has those families.  You know the ones.  The ones going through a hard time.  In recent years, with no help from the economy, it seems there are more and more of those families.


In our small community there seems to be quite a few.  I am not necessarily talking about the homeless.  I am talking about that family that seems normal.  But secretly, cannot afford school supplies or new shoes.  I remember at times growing up when we were dirt poor.  And at times when dirt poor meant you could literally see the dirt through the holes in our floor.  Remembering back as a child it seemed like those times were few and far between, but parents were not as open back then.  Those times could have been considerably closer together and lasted longer than I realized, but my parents did not let it show through unless it was just ridiculously obvious.  I am thankful for that.  We were a great family.  Active in our church, school, and the local community.  It would have been embarrassing for people to know we were one of those families.  Now as a mother, I have come to realize that one of the reasons my brother and I never realized we were one of those families is because so many people did know.  My parents’ friends must have certainly known and pitched in; albeit in a very quiet, compassionate, and gentle way.  I remember family dinners we would enjoy with other families during a week night get together.  Wednesday evenings our spaghetti dinner at the church hall were the normal, but now I know was just one less night my parents had to scrape together to provide dinner.  Weekends spent with extended family and other friends were always full of tables overflowing with food.  Times that made me think food was what held my family together.  I guess in a way it did.



Before school started every year we would head out to Beaumont and go school clothes shopping.  Three new outfits per kiddo.  We thought we were in hog heaven.  New clothes, and from the huge department stores at that!  And it always seemed a few days later my mom would be out later than normal and come home with bags from JCPenney’s, Montgomery Ward, and Sears.  Filled with more new clothes for school time.  My brother and I were ecstatic to have the new clothes.  What I did not know at the time was that my mother would save the bags from the three outfit trip and hit up the local Goodwill, garage sale, country feed store or discount store.  Sometimes they were hand-me-downs that she would carefully patch and sew to revive and make look new.  But she was always very careful to make us feel as if they were new.  Having new clothes can do a lot for a child.  Every year it always seemed as if one of the families in our group was having financial trouble and the others would pick up extra binders, notebooks, pens, pencils, and other school supplies.  So that all of the children would have school supplies for the first day.



Towards the end of the year when the holidays hit, these families are thought about for Christmas and Thanksgiving.  We do food drives, toy drives, and giving trees.  The outpouring of help at this time can ease a parents’ burden and make children happy in ways you cannot imagine.  Unfortunately, it is not the only time that help is needed.  The beginning of a school year can be a financial burden on a family barely scraping up enough to cover utilities or rent and having to choose which one is more important.  We are a week into school and as the new wears off the normal will shine through.  Those three new outfits have been worn.  



If you have free time or are part of a group that can help out, make time to sit down with your local school counselor or principal.  Most of the time they are aware of the kids and families that are struggling.  There are many things you can do to help and they will be more than happy to point you in the right direction.  They can usually get the sizes of clothes or more specific information from families that they know are struggling and pass it on in a quiet, confidential manner.  Try holding a ‘clothes swap’ with local families in your community or neighborhood and trade out what your children have outgrown.  You can also arrange a blue jean donation bin or hold a new shoe drive.  Our school district has done them around Christmas time and will get the shoe size of kiddos whose parents are having a tough time.  I was one of those families when my oldest was in the first grade.  She received two new pairs of shoes neatly wrapped in holiday paper.  It was one of the best gifts I have ever received.  In the years since I have always found a way to get involved in helping out those families.  Just by buying extra binders, paper, crayons, and other school supplies and letting the teachers know that they are for other kids in the school that need them but may not be able to afford them.

There are many other ways you can help out in your community.  Check with your local city hall or school district and see what you can do to lend a hand.  Community involvement is a wonderful way to help give back and make a difference in someones life.



I am no longer the child, now I am the mother, and I have a huge group of friends and a wonderful community.  A very quiet, compassionate, and gentle group of friends.  This year, I am that family.  The family that looks normal on the outside, but cannot afford school supplies or new shoes.  I have wonderful friends that have stepped up and helped in various ways, as I have helped them in the past.  It is done quietly, without much fuss, and not made to feel like a handout.  No one has asked for anything in return or boasted that they have helped.  We all know that any year it could be our family.  So they are thankful it is not, and help.





Who can you help?  Do you know a local family that needs help?  How have you helped in the past?
Read More 1 Comment | Posted by Loco YaYa | edit post
Aug 14

Insomnia and iTunes

the fact that i have insomnia is not a secret.  i really have no idea when it started.  i just know it sucks.  and it is bad right now.  i also know that stress does not help my plight.  eh sue me.  i am a stress out mo-fo.  always have been. i think with my stress.  not my brain.  tonight the insomnia is really bad.  coupled with, as it has recently been, a kicker of a headache.  so i sit here in my front room and listen to my music.  here is a little taste of what was in my ears:


fleetwood mac - the chain
the parlotones - push me to the floor
8stops7 - uninspired
dido - here with me
the beatles - strawberry fields forever
weezer - holiday
pearl jam - unthought known
michael buble - havent met you yet
blue october - dirt room
karsh kale - one step beyond
the offspring - half truism
10 years - wasteland
pink - its all your fault
good charlotte - emotionless
thomas dolby - she blinded me with science
train - hey soul sister
alison krauss - down to the river to pray
broken bells - the high road
system of a down - holy mountains
dexys midnight - come on eileen
rise against - long forgotten sons
lady gaga - paper gangsta
eagles - no more cloudy days
nicolaus esterhazy sinfonia - sym no 3 in e-flat major op 55
muse - uprising
ray lamontagne - trouble
slipknot - snuff
the avett brothersw - i and love and you


and honestly everything in between. that is just what i typed until i got tired of typing. curious? google some of it and see if you like it.  i think my tastes in music are wide. are yours? what is on your list?
Read More 2 comments | Posted by Loco YaYa | edit post
Aug 13

The Embarrassing Living Room

Had I thought about it an hour ago I would have taken a picture for you all.  But at the time I am usually so distressed that I do not think about it.  It is no secret that I loathe cleaning.  I mean really, who likes it?  Truly?  But I really cannot stand to clean.  It irritates me.  Not like the clean with cleaners clean.  That I do not mind.  But the in general picking up.  That is what I do not care for.  And my kids are the worst about leaving stuff everywhere you can think of.  If I lived by myself, my home would be the picture of clean.  I do not remember being this 'dirty' when I was a kid.  My mother did her fair share of the housework, do not get me wrong.  But really, she made us do our part too.  I had chores.  Chores people!  And not just run of the mill chores either.  I had horses to feed, manure to shovel up, 5 acres to mow.  All on a downhill slope.  Push mow at that.  Although I do have to admit, that one was usually reserved for when I was grounded.  I knew that when I took a shower, my towel was to be hung either on the rack or in my room.  And that same towel was to be used at least three times.  None of this two towels every shower every time.  Oh no.  That would have been a sin.  I remember doing daily chores.  There were normal stuff we did everyday.  Wash dishes, pick up the living room, pick up the floor of our rooms, and general sweeping and spot mopping if something had been spilled.  And Saturday's were cleaning morning.  Friday's during the summer.  But you can guarantee we were going to spend at least four to six hours on that cleaning day doing everything.  A super good vacuum, sweeping, mopping, dusting, window cleaning, everything.  I do not remember our house ever being like stupid clean, like old people's homes, there was normal 'I have a family that lives here' clutter, but it was always company ready.  My house.  Not.  Company.  Ready.  Ever.  Unless that company is expected.  And with at least a two hour window.  Do NOT let someone call, say one of my guy friends, and be like "Oh hey, I was in the area and I am gonna stop by for a bit in about thirty minutes."  Because all hell will break loose.  Batten down the hatches!  Swab the deck!  Holy bejesus!!  It gets downright scary up in here.  That is reserved for emergencies.  The problem is that the kids start messing stuff up, and for about 1-4 weeks I will stay on top of it.  And then something happens.  Maybe I am gone for a couple of days as I was with work and another adult is at my house.  Maybe there is a different type of emergency and I am not home much for a couple days.  Maybe all five kids are here and the BFF and I run to town for half an hour.  But something happens.  Then I walk through the door and BAM!!  Tornado town.  The only thing to do is just look at it, scream a bit, and walk off.  This is point where all the trouble begins.  Next thing you know there are things stuck to my floor, red kool-aid on my wooden floors, ants in my damn laundry room.  (And I so wish they would do that laundry MOTPG!)  And then it happens...I.  Give.  Up.  I no longer care.  I keep my friends away.  Although my nearest and dearest know to expect a mess.  And yes I am embarrassed.  I know it is horrible.  And if anyone just stopped by save about three certain people I would probably stroke out with embarrassment.  It has gotten to the point, like tonight when The Worrier stopped by for a late night visit, that when she walked in the house she gasped...BECAUSE IT WAS CLEAN.  I know.  Sad, sad state of affairs.  I truly believe the worst part is that I, just like the kids, will just step over it.  I will tune it out.  Horrible.  Until the moment I trip.  Or someone has moved my stuff around.  MY stuff.  Then I flip.  Because when fat girl trips all bets are off.  This body is NOT hitting the floor.  And sometimes I will clean after a good flip, and sometimes I will not.  Tomorrow, there will be women at my home for morning coffee.  It is something I started for during the school time.  All my good friends from forever come over and we sit around and drink coffee and visit.  It is our mom time.  Most of them are SAHM's so they welcome the chance to visit with other adults.  And I just love it because I get to see my friends.  School has not started yet, but one of our friends that lives out of town is in town.  And she wants coffee.  And what The White Mexican wants, The White Mexican gets.  She is rarely here and it is the least I can do.  So tonight.  I made my kids step it up a notch.  Some screaming included.  And I cleaned my house.  And when The Worrier walked in she gasped.  At the fact she could see my floor.  She was here two days ago and saw the horror.  Now I know I am not the only one that does this.  And I partially lay blame on the fact that I am single.  I know myself, and know how I am when there is a man present in my life.  And my house is usually clean.  But there is no man at my house.  At all.  So there is not that urge to have my house not look like a hot mess.  For the most part when the BFF and I just had one kid each it was not a problem.  It was when the bottom three came that things got so out of hand.  Most of my friends expect it or accept it.  And the kids...they are no help at all.  The BFF and I have said that once school starts this year there will be rules.  The first two weeks they are in school a group of four moms are going to get together and hit all four of our houses.  Do a huge spring cleaning type thing.  Go through each others houses and throw stuff away, move stuff around, just clean the shit out of it.  After that, every evening we are going to make the kids get a snack, do homework, clean for thirty minutes and then a little time for play before baths and bed.  I am hoping we can stick to it.  And maybe get the kids in the habit of cleaning up after themselves. Hopefully also make it easier on the adults to help it stay clean.  I am looking forward to that.  I am sick to death of having my house look horrible.  It wears me out.

So do you do this?  Or have friends that do?  Did you do it and how did you fix it?  And please do not say it did not get better till the kids went to college.  The youngest is five and I cannot wait that long for a clean house.  Is it that big of a deal?  I would much rather my kids remember when I am gone because we had fun and danced in the kitchen and sang at the top of our lungs than because we had a spotless house.
Read More 0 comments | Posted by Loco YaYa | edit post
Aug 07

Back To Our Normal Broadcast

i wanted to apologize to my two faithful readers. i have been absent for far too long. but i do have some post ideas coming up. it has just been crazy lately.

in the last eight weeks we have been through: lost jobs, illness, hospitals, surgery, fits thrown, broken ovens, misfit microwaves, job opportunities, more lost jobs,  new houses being built, mono, strep, dirty houses, laundry piled up to my knees, a 28 hour there-and-back road trip to florida, car inspections running out, late house notes, jail, family dinners, aspie breakdowns, injuries, house warming, birthdays, parties, coffee mornings, MK promoting, article writing, bad kids, fresh pears, peeling tons of pears, house renovations, flooded bathrooms, ants in the laundry room, kids being extraordinary... and much much more.

i do hope you are all doing great! i will try to get on my blog reading and commenting here soon. as well as a few posts. so what have you all been up to?
Read More 1 Comment | Posted by Loco YaYa | edit post
Jul 26

Showing Some Bloggy Love

After being in the blogging world for a while I have gotten to 'meet' a lot of cool people.  Some of them I admire.  Some of them I fear.  Some of them have no idea who I am.  Some of them I drool over.  Some of them I wish I could meet.  My BFF in real life is one of my fellow bloggers.  Being able to get away from it all and have an adult beverage and laugh and bounce things off of her is wonderful.  There are so many bloggers out there that I would love to just be able to do that with.

With all the conferences coming and going throughout the year the chance to meet some of these amazing women (and men!) is possible.  The impossible is being able to afford all the great opportunities.  It got me to thinking, if I could have my own little conference who would I invite?  Well it would definitely be an open invitation because I would hate to miss out on meeting so many great writers and bloggers.  But what if I could only pick 10?  Who would my Top 10 of all time 'OMG I wanna meet you!' bloggers be?

I was pondering this while eating my mini-wheats the other morning and all I could think was how could I narrow it down?  Is it really different than shopping?  Hitting the cereal isle at your local mega mart you are faced with hundreds of options.  How do you pick the few cereals to pour in your bowl?  Taste, cost, the toy inside?  If I had a huge bowl and could mix in my favorite bloggers to make this...well...huge bowl of awesome, who would I pick?

Below is my list.  My Top 10.  My veritable 'Bowl Full Of The Awesome' Bloggers that I would love to meet:

1.  The Bloggess - Really? Do I have to list a reason?? It's The Bloggess!
2.  Candace - This girl has more southern charm and sass than J.R. Ewing's cowboy hat!
3.  Jane - This woman is amazing and inspiring!  How awesome would it be to kick it with this momma!
4.  MOTPG - This woman rocks it with three girls!  Just do not ground me Mom!!
5.  Mother from TMH - Intelligent, savvy and kick ass!  I would love to just sit down pick her brain and soak up the knowledge.
6.  Leiah - This one is full of laughs and great times.  I just know it!  What a hoot this one would be.
7.  Supah / Chief / Meeko - OK! I know it is three people, but really, I think this group comes as one.  And hopefully with a little magic I may get to be meeting these crazy cats in Vegas.  
8.  Busy Mom - I already know this one and let me tell you something I am a much better person for it!
9.  Aunt Becky - Grab me a drink and get ready to laugh!
10.  Moooooooooog - Sarcastic, offbeat, and has a squishy inside.  This Midget of Steel reminds me of half the guys I hung with in the Army.  Not sure if that is good or bad.  But I am sure it would be a blast!

This is by no means all of who I would love to get together with.  But it is the best list I can come up within my 10 limit.  There are so many wonderful people out there.  Some of them are right up the street and others are across the country.  I am happy just to be able to read their blogs and get a glimpse into their worlds.  Be sure to go show them all some love!!

So who would you list as your Top 10?  Who makes up your Bowl Full of Awesome?






If you receive this Award the rules are simple.  

First, give yourself a pat on the back!  You have been chosen as someone so worth while that there is someone else in this crazy blogging world that thinks you are amazing!  Show off your award with pride!

Second, if you would like to pass it on, then pick your favorite 10 bloggers that you would like to meet if given the chance.  (If you already know 'em IRL that's ok too!)  Give a short reason why they are full of the awesome and be sure to link to their site and give them some comment love letting them know they have been picked.

If you do pass it on be sure to write a post and copy the award button and include it with your post.
Read More 9 comments | Posted by Loco YaYa | edit post
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Loco YaYa's Snafu'd World

  • About

      Just a mom of two kids. Big K and Lil K. Who make me loco on a daily basis. I have a ton of other kids that call me 'YaYa'. They are my 'stray cats' as my great aunt refers to them. Once you start feeding them they won't go away...and apparently i'm a great cook!

      The things I say will not always make sense. I am funny. I am sarcastic. I am educated. (Sometimes I forget this and the ghettoredneckcoonass comes out. I cannot help it. Hushitup!) I am a smartass. I do not sleep a lot. I may be off color at times. I am also harmless. You may not get my style and that is not my fault. This blog is not meant to be anything other than my thoughts. What I say belongs to me and at the end of the day...it's just words. Get over yourself. If you are offended, go away. You have been warned...

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