I normally do not get all up in arms about such things.  I am not someone that prides myself on being overly gung ho about the no vaccines, attachment parenting, breast feeding, and natural births.  Do not get me wrong, if you can and did breast feed - great.  If you were able to have a natural birth - even better.  I could not do either and do not begrudge anyone who was in the same boat as I was.  I will not jam it down your throat.  Some people cannot have natural births or breast feed.  Some people can.  Hoorah for those that can.  I think it is the most natural way and should, when applicable, be done.  There are people that promote and educate about the reasons why you should do the above mentioned things.  I think it is great.  Had I been more aware and educated on the options things may have gone different.  Had I had the foresight to push for a natural birth and make sure that was first on my list I would have done it.  Had I tried to have Big'K in a tub in my kitchen we both probably would have died.  I respect the people that can do those things even though I could not, and would not dream of giving them hell because they could not.  It is what it is.

Vaccinations.  I have some acquaintances that refuse to get their kids vaccinated.  You know what?  That is fine.  I work in the medical field and know all too well what some of these vaccines can do.  But, I also work in the medical field and know all too well what some of these diseases can do.  There are some diseases that we really do need vaccines for.  Smallpox is one.  Yes it has been eradicated since the 1970's.  The last recorded case in the U.S. was in 1949.  The disease was certified eradicated in 1980 by the WHO.  Awesome.  It is also the ONLY human disease to ever be eradicated.  Polio - ok.  I get that one too.  Hepatitis B - get it.  I am in the healthcare business.  I got my vaccination in order to protect myself.  I am glad my children also received the vaccination as no one who leaves the lab will ever go home free of some type of possibly infectious material on them.  Think you do?  Check the bottom of your shoes.  Short of completely showering down, changing clothes, and remaining sterile until you get home...it does not happen.  I mean really you can walk to the local store and step in something someone hocked up and track it into your house.  Diphtheria, Tetanus, Measles, Mumps, Rubella -still tracking.  Pertussis - meh.  Ok.  No major issues with this one.  Meningococcal (Meningitis vaccine) - I am still not 100% on this one.  Big'K was not able to get this vaccine.  The Texas State Health Department nurse (RN) would not give it to her, for the reason I am about to get into (which is the main point of this rant).  Now I am not one of those mothers that believes that vaccines give kids autism.  I do believe that introducing certain ones together may push the body into a state that it cannot handle, therefore opening up a propensity for autism that may have been laying dormant.  Big'K was a semi-normal kid.  Progressing as she should have, until age two vaccines.  And all of that changed.  Now?  Aspie.  Read into it what you want.

Chicken Pox - Now I have a problem.  Yes, if a pregnant woman gets the chicken pox it can be harmful/fatal to her fetus.  I understand that.  In most cases, chicken pox is not fatal.  It can be fatal in immuno compromised people and older patients.  I get that too.  I do understand that it causes parents to be off work.  Single mom here...totally understand.  I am talking about a healthy child.  Things are ok.  Itching, burning, spots, sores, scars...yeah I had em all.  I had a very severe case of the chicken pox.  Horrible.  The people at Dairy Queen in Lumberton would not serve me because they thought I had HIV due to the severity of my lesions.  It. was. bad. people.  But I lived and short of the scars made it through.  Yes it lasted over two weeks.  Yes I had to be taken to the doctor a few times because it got down into my throat.  I get it.  My poor mother.  The hell she must have gone through.  But I also remember all the neighborhood kids coming over and playing.  To 'get it over with' for the other parents.  It was like a party.  "Oh...Little Suzy has the pox?  Great!  We will be over for playtime in half an hour!"  Parents did that because it could be dangerous and deadly to catch it as an adult.  So parents everywhere made sure their kids got it out of their systems early.  I do understand that at that time most families had a stay at home parent.  Schools also were not as asinine about truancy.

Here is my issue with the Chicken Pox Vaccination.  This is my opinion.  And mine only.  This is based on what I know as a mother and as a healthcare professional.

The shingles.  An old people disease.  Right?  Wrong.  You can only contract the shingles if you have had the chicken pox.  It was considered an old people disease.  When their body was stressed out or immuno compromised they would come down with the shingles.  Which was left over virus from the Chicken Pox that had 'gone to sleep' in a root nerve somewhere in your body, usually the spine.  Now.  We are vaccinating our children against the Chicken Pox.  Which puts the virus in their bodies.  Our bodies cannot fight off all of the virus, so little pieces parts 'go to sleep' in a nerve somewhere.  Are you tracking?  Now enter adolescence.  you are exposed to tons of stress.  Athletics, school work, other kids and their illness', deploying parents, new sisters and brothers, etc.  Stress is everywhere.

Big'K got the shingles at age seven.  Yes.  I said seven!  When her new little not yet vaccinated sister was only six weeks old.  She spent over a month wrapped in gauze, coban, and double layered with long sleeve shirts and hoodies.  She could not touch her sister or anything I would touch and then touch her sister.  Shingles in itself is not contagious.  But coming in contact with the blisters can cause a case of the Chicken Pox.  And in an infant it can be dangerous.  So I did my best to keep the two of them apart.  It was horrible.  She had to be out of public, for fear someone else (at this time) was walking around with a child that had not been vaccinated.  Did I mention that it is painful?  And can be for years.  She still hurts.  Her root nerve was up at the base of her neck, so it spread down her right arm.  She still has shooting pain down her right arm and in the back of her neck.  When we visited the hospital, because I could not believe I was seeing what I was seeing on my seven year old, we had to see five (count them five) doctors before Thank Big G an infectious disease doctor happened to be on call and was called into our E.R. room, and confirmed that it was definitely the shingles.  Here's the kicker...he said there were upwards of seven children that had been in that week alone for the shingles.  Ranging from eighteen months to fourteen years old.  I was floored.  But this is an old peoples disease?!?  How can my seven year old, as well as all these other children, have it?!?

Fast forward to the week before school.  I find out Big'K is missing a few vaccinations.  The booster for the Chicken Pox, DTaP, and her Meningococcal.  Because she had the shingles I could exempt her from the booster for the CP.  Easy enough.  Although trying to convince everyone I came in contact with that she actually did have the shingles was a different matter all together.  We head to her semi-regular doctor.  They give her the DTaP and are out of the Meningococcal.  Awesome.  This means a trip to the health department.  Understandably, one of my most favorite places.  Insert sarcasm here.  After sitting there for over half an hour, which makes it now closing time for them, we get back to see the nurse.  As we are going over her medical history I bring up the fact that she had the shingles.  This is the conversation:

Me - Oh yeah, she had the shingles at age seven.
RN - You mean the chicken pox. (Not a question, a statement)

**Before you read this...do NOT judge me.  If you think you can do better you take her ass home with you!!  I have a 12 year old that behaves perfectly.

It is no secret that I have a challenging five year old.  She is me.  She is my payback.  And I totally get that.  The difference is...before the ripe age of five I had well learned that my parents were more stubborn than I and well they had the belt and in the end they were in charge.  Lil'K has not learned that I am the one in charge.  And to be honest even if she knows I am in charge she does not care.  And is ready to dethrone me at a moments notice.  It is a battle that is fought everyday.  It is challenging, frustrating, and leaves me feeling insane at the end of each day.  I have tried everything you can imagine...to no avail.  Lately, this issue has become a huge deal in my house.  My frustration with my children, most specifically the smallest, has had me wanting to run away to a distant island and sell coconut swim suits.  I love my children.  I understand this is what happens when you are a mother.  A parent.  There will be trials.  I will not win them all.  I get it.  I was a kid once too.  But my children leave me feeling like this is not what I was cut out for.  It really does not help when I am already fighting some of my own demons with the loss of job and financial issues that has brought, all the while trying to maintain a loving nurturing home with things like food.

Since she has started Kindergarten the battle has not stopped, I just get an eight hour reprieve from the war.  She came home with a permission slip for a field trip a week and a half ago.  Much to my surprise, Miss I Hate School begged and begged and pleaded to go.  The light bulb clicked on.  And boy did it shine!!

Me - Oh you have a field trip...that's nice.
Lil'K - Oh momma can I please please please go!  I want to go. Really Really bad mom.


Sorry I waited so long but I have to pick my battles and this one was a win for the home team!"

As a people I truly believe we would not be where we were today without those that broke from the herd.  Those that when everyone else was turning right, they decided to turn left.  Create something new.  Strive to change the status quo.  Sometimes those bouts of rebellion are needed.  In order for us to grow.  As people.  Both individuals and as a species.  All people; not black, not white, not brown, not yellow, not purple.  Just -- a people.

Had someone not gotten tired of riding horses and the longness of the trip we would not have cars and trucks.  Something we take for granted every day.  Had someone not had the drive to keep people from being sick and the bravery to eat that mold on the bread, we would be plagued by simple diseases.  Had someone not yearned to connect with fellow people all around the world, we would not have phones or the internet.  Two things I cannot live without.  Or at least it seems that way.

Without people to buck the system things would never change.  Sometimes change can be hard.  OK.  All the time.  We get used to things 'the way they are'.  Then along comes change, with resistance, and things can be better.  Sometimes it is not.  But more often than not if we just go ahead and let the change slowly happen, we will see a better or more convenient way of doing things.  Safer.  More economic.  Faster.

Breaking out of the mold and leaving the herd behind to think freely and invent and discover is how we grow.  It is what makes us who we are.  Technology.  Medicine.  Fashion.  Art.  And even war.  Many things have come about because someone just could not keep on the standard path.  And how awesome it is that these people were brave and sometimes stupid enough to accomplish what they dreamed of.

To those inventors, creators, masterminds...I say "Way to go!!".

And to all the people that continue to to go the wrong way in the car rider vs. bus line at my local elementary... YOU ARE ASSHATS.  I understand the way of getting there is different from what we have done for the last 50 years.  I get it.  I also find it unnerving to have to use the highway entrance.  I too have used the back way for as long as I have been driving.  However, this rule was put there to keep the kids safe.  YOUR kids safe.  MY kids safe.  It was also put there to keep you safe while driving, to keep you and the buses (which are carrying our kids) from running into a space issue on the small country road.  You know what I will even give you the benefit of the doubt.  Before 0720, fine, you win.  Use the side entrance.  I do.  There are not as many buses coming in.  But after 0730 just do what they ask us to do.  In this instance you are not breaking from the heard, or changing the status quo.  You are endangering lives.  And that, does not make you a martyr...it makes you an idiot.

I am done.