***before you read on...if throwing up makes you sick to your tummy i dont suggest you read on. if that doesnt bother you then by all means...

i had one of those moments the other night. both of the girls had been sick, and my dad too. i had been thinking if i dont get the hurls, vomits, spackles, or rumbly tummy by thursday then i'm safe. well low and behold thursday night i go to bed early with Lil'K. take my sleepy meds, some ibupro, and hit the bed before eight. can you believe it! its just getting dark and i am already in bed. yay me! i drift to sleep after minimal chatter from Lil'K and after a bit begin to think..."is it? no. cant be. but was it? oh god is that my stomach hurting?? ughhh. no. im just cramping." and then i go back to bed. and then i sit upright in bed when i realize youre not cramping stupid! you dont even have parts anymore!! theyre in a landfill somewhere. not in your belly. you cant be cramping...those arent cramps. those are hurl warnings. its at this moment that your past defines you. you KNOW you have thrown up too much in your life when you have the ability to prepare. i went ahead and got up. fixed myself a huge glass of ice water, wet a rag, tore off about a dozen paper towels and put my flip flops by the door. preparing for what was to come. after getting everything ready i laid back down. doing the foot kicking thing in bed thinking 'i will NOT throw up! i will NOT throw up!!' i went back to sleep for about half an hour. and then i felt it again. this time the praying started...'deal lord baby jesus PLEASE let it just be the spackles. i can handle the spackles. not the vomits.'

me and throw up have a long history. i hate it. i loath it. because i dont care what you eat you will always throw up after you have eaten the most horrible thing that could ever possibly come out of your nose. and it doesnt matter. i have tried every trick in the book. it will come out your nose. well this night in particular i made a casserole. ground meat, tortillas, ranch beans, cheese, tomatoes. ground meat. hurls. not friends. it. will. come. out. your. nose.

well i could feel it churning again. so i get up and walk around the living room thinking 'i will not throw up i will not throw up i will not throw up'. its about 0130. maybe ill be ok. i get up and drink some water then refill my glass. just in case. you must be prepared. lay back down. after some fitful sleep with dream after dream of the vomits. at around 0320 i got up glanced at the time snatched up the paper towels throw on the flip flops and run outside just in time to grab onto a carport poll and hurl my guts up. this wasnt a normal hurl. this is the first hurl. THE hurl that makes my throat completely close up. so here i am. outside. hurling. and i CANNOT get a breath in. panic ensues. but alas i must hurl again. after about the third time i hit my knees unable to get a breath into my lungs and i think...'nobody even knows im out here!!' i could have died. right there in my yard. and no one would have known. forever. what a way to go.

death by the hurls.

really? i would like to think that kinda stuff doesnt happen very often right?

anyways. ok so this was totally random. i know. but its been a while since i posted and we all know bodily functions and me go hand in hand.