Just the ramblings of a crazy Mom of two beautiful girls (and YaYa to many children that I adore) navigating through my snafu'd life. This blog is my way of 'clearing the cobwebs' and trying to maintain my sanity.
I have a chaotic life full of kids, rebuilding after our house burnt, coffee, my best girls, mornings in my breezeway, blogging, a full time job, screaming kids, laundry, remodeling, Asperger's/OCD Big'K, mowing, taking the trash out, Bipolar w/psychosis and RAD Lil'K, a crazy family, more kids thrown in the mix, bad plumbing, laughing until I pee my pants, electrical malfunctions, and everything else the Big G thinks He needs to throw at me on this ride we call life, all the while trying to survive being a single mother. Because let's face it...every day that I wake up, I am outnumbered!
well the first day of school has come and gone. and i truly believe it went off without many hitches.
i work a 17 hour day on sundays. so needless to say by the time i get home sunday night...its monday morning. after a whopping combined sleeping time of six hours (between friday and saturday nights) and factoring in two back to back 17 hour days, it is safe to say that monday mornings are not my all time super shiny moments as a mom. normally, during the summer, its not so bad. i sleep late. the girls sleep late. everyone is happy. but school time...now THATS a different story. when the alarm goes off at 0600, i am, to say the least, a little cloudy. having gone to sleep at maybe 0100 the little three to five hour 'nap' doesnt do much for brain function. let me mention here that my job is not a 'behind the desk' type job. i can kill people make a mistake that would possibly not be in someones best medical interest! so my work weekend is not an idle mind type weekend. i have to think. truly use brain power. for 17 hours a day! so yes by monday...i am stupid.
today was no different. i was hoping that being the first day of school i would be on it. i called the girls last night from work to ensure that they were on the path to bed at around 2000. (8 p.m. sorry i use military time) everything seemed good. clothes were laid out complete with underwear and socks. backpacks were ready to go. showers were taken. it seemed like everything was fine. by the time i got home at midnight i learned that my four yr old Lil'K had been so excited that she didnt find sleep until almost 2300. i understand. i just knew the morning wake up call would be a little cranky. i was prepared. at 0615 my phone rings and immediately after hitting speaker on my iphone i was greeted with "POUR SOME SUGAR ON ME!!" completely off tone and wayyyy too early for this non morning mom. (me and some close friends attended the Def Lep Poison Cheap Trick concert the week before). it was my wake up call. what great friends i have!! they already know im a loser and cannot wake up on my own. i should make them award certificates for being smartasses wonderful friends! i think i may do that later in the week. moving on...
the girls get their normal "wakeywakey eggs and bakey" song that i sing like a moron in the mornings. everyone stumbles to the kitchen to take their seats at the breakfast table only to discover we have no cereal! strike one for mom. in my defense i work all weekend. my dad was totally capable of looking in the cabinet and knowing we were out of yucky charms or shitty wheats (mini wheats. and not because of the taste. because of the fiber.) but no. he did not. so we made due with some weird peanut butter chewy cereal bar. yuck. but whatever. they were fed. everyone gets looked over and theres no major visible issues. Lil'Kdoesnt have on socks. but i think socks are overrated. and Big K does have on underwear so score one for mom. we all make it into my its-not-a-mini-van (kia rondo) and proceed to pick up the other two that will be joining us. normally this is a car full that i dread. as manchild picks on Lil'K and the screaming starts. but this morning i think everyone was too nervous. idle chatter began and i was having a great morning! we get to the junior high and get manchild and Big K dropped off. and as they are getting out of the car i am clapping and singing "yay first day of schoo-oo-olll... first day of schoo-oo-olll...first day of schoo-oo-olll... go junior high! go junior high!" really loud!!! which i love because i know they are embarrassed... score one for mom but in return am getting the stink eye from the two that are way too big for me to sing to. now on to the high school. its time to drop of KK and she is ok with it but nervous because none of her friends have sent a text to her yet that they are here. ok wait. stop. when we were in school there were no text messages. you just walked in. and hoped your friends were there. although we were all band nerds so of course we were there. we had marching practice. but still. its school! walk in the damn building! and of course as soon as she opened the door i began to sing to her too. better response on this one. i just got a head shake. delighted at myself i begin to pull off. now on to the pre-k for Lil'K. we get back to the elem school and with seven bags of supplies on my arms walk to the classroom. this child has been excited for a week. jumping jelly beans. we get seven steps from the class and i hear a meek and humble "uh mom im scared" oh great. and i thought no one was gonna cry. well we did make it without incident and she made it into the class...tear free. me. not. so. much. got to the parking lot and they started flowing. and not the silent OMGim crying flowing. the ugly face distorted mouth MY BABY IS IN SCHOOL flowing. but i make it to the its-not-a-mini-van before anyone saw me. strike two for mom.
i got home, called the moms of manchild and KK, and fixed my first cup of coffee. success. look at me go. everyone to school. in one piece. yay mom. score one for mom. as i drink my coffee and enjoy my quiet time i realize (as i lay back down because im exhausted) that the girls dont have lunch money.
are you shitting me?!?!?
well piss. strike three for mom. YOURE OUT!!!!
so after a thirty minute ordeal i get money on the account. thank you internet gods!!! sometimes technology proves wonderful.
now all is well on the first day of school.
and once they got home...nothing but great stories. i love it. the first day of school is great. for everyone.
Let me preface this by saying...this is my experience...and i am sure that there have been a ton of people that have not had this same experience...however...i did have it and it irritated me.
on august 14th i decided to take my almost 12 yr old to her first music concert. we were on track to go see blue october. i had a plan. leave early in order to have a leg up on the parking jam that always seems to manifest as soon as i hit the entrance to the underground parking garage. we arrived early...at least a full hour and ahalf before the show. i checked at the hard rock...which i love but Big K hasn't been to...well a 50 minute wait. so that was a no go. being where we were and what is around the VWT...we had limited choices. a bar/pub not good. i have an underage child with me. and did i mention we are actually dressed up. Big K in her new Miley gear (that was actually ultra cute and priced well), and me in jeans, a dressy black shirt, and some strappy heels. (like a hippo on roller skates people!! i promise).
so here we go. i decided to go see what the wait at Mingalone's was. it is italian food. and from everything i have seen and or heard about ... the food is great.
so we walk in. in the beginning there was a greeter and an older lady (we will call her Sunglasses)...probably the owner's wife. or sister. or something to that effect. so i tell her that i realize it is a friday night and that we don't have a reservation but was there a possibility that we could get a table. so the greeter and Sunglasses proceed to look over the seating chart pointing at different tables and then Sunglasses points to the bar...and the greeter points out that i have a child with me. duh! so the greeter says hold on and walks off. i am assuming to go see what was open. NOW....in the mean time...over to the right of the door there is a small area where some comfy chairs a couch and some 'short' tables are. this area is meant to wait. and drink a little. but mostly wait. w. a. i. t. not eat. wait. keep this in mind.
after the greeter is gone Sunglasses grabs two menus and proceeds to hand them off to BarGuy. (wearing all black and i saw him working behind the bar except for when he was waiting on us) BarGuy sat us directly by the glass entry way by the front door...at the 'short' table. in my mind much like the kids table.
now what this said to me was:
A. yes we have a spot however...you being a single mother with a child have no money and will not spend much or tip well
B. instead of totally losing your business we are going to sit you in a very uncomfortable spot that way you will not take up a good table that we can hand out to a four top that will drop a big tip on us and will be out of here quickly
C. you shouldnt have worn those heels anyways.
once sat i was furious. i mean furious. have enough decency to tell me there will be a blank amount of wait or no its friday night and we dont have a table. at least that way i could have decided whether or not i wanted to leave. and have had the time to go find somewhere else to eat. here i am trying to have a great evening with my daughter. just the two of us. no four yr old Lil K in sight. no noise. just us. enjoying it. and then boom. the italian's had to piss me off.
needless to say i was absolutely pissed off.
a few minutes after being seated and our order taken the little greeter girl passed by again...i very politely asked her if by some chance there was a 'normal' table that we could be moved to. and of course to her surprise she thought they were already preparing a table for us and that we were just sitting and waiting. oh no i reassured her. this is our place to eat. i told her it was unsatisfactory and i was displeased with the seat we had been given. to please see if we could not possibly get another table.
by the time she dropped off what she had in her hand and returned to her little podium what looked like 'the owner' had appeared. and as she was looking over the seating chart pointing out tables you could see his face become a bright red shade of embarassment. Sunglasses seemed to be backtracking and stumbling over her words as he had a frantic look on his face. i could just imagine in his italian streaked english the horror that must have been coming out of his mouth. oh the shame...the agony!
and then the food arrived! the poor guy looked as if he could have had a stroke. now let me tell you...the food was excellent. no problem there. the alfredo sauce tasted awesome. the noodles were perfect and the grilled chicken was superb. food wise they had a 9 our of 10. easy. in the middle of our very tasty meal the greeter girl walked back up and asked if we would like to move and of course 'fat girl was eating' and had no plans to get up and move. no. i would rather sit here and keep eating while steaming in my own pot of rage. much better that way. so i denied and told her we would just stay where we were since our food had come and we were already into eating. she seemed ok and went back and retold my answer to StrokeMan. he did the whole hand to the forehead movement. and then halfheartedly stormed off to the kitchen area.
after we were finished eating and had the bill paid for i walked by the podium and asked for a business card to which sunglasses gladly shoved forward. now before everyone gets all wonky...i am never rude in a public setting. or at least i try to not be. i have been on the waitress end...or the shit rolls downhill end before. for quite a while matteroffactly. and i do not think i am larger than i am. (ok in size of course i do. but in life no. i dont.) i rarely voice to this extent my displeasure. but i just felt like i had to. i hate putting down a restaurant or any place by name. but what i felt at this dinner was overwhelming. i was offended. and hurt. and felt looked down on. i hated it. so i felt like i had to write this. so i did.
what i leave you with was our conversation.
Sunglasses (smiling as she handed over the business card)- how was your dinner?
Me - oh the food was very good thank you.
Sun - is there something i can help you with this evening? have you found everything ok?
Me (with a smile on my face and only as loud as needed for just her to hear it)- i just wanted to let you know that the food was wonderful. and so was the waitstaff. however i was deeply troubled and offended that my daughter and i were seated at a table that was not meant for eating. you could have turned us away or given us an astronomical wait time and we would have left. but instead you saw a single mother and a child so you sat us at a very uncomfortable table where everyone walking in saw us and people waiting to be seated were gawking uncomfortably because we just looked so out of place eating by the front door. i find this a horrible business practice. thank you for your business card. i am a mommyblogger and avid tweeter and i will be giving your restaurant a review.
ok i have to admit i am fairly new to blogging. i mean duh i know what it is. have known what it was. just didnt think i had anything of value to say outloud. although i am a very loud person. but i started a blog. without hesitation. and although i know its entertaining to my BFF and hers to mine. truly i dont care if anyone else reads it. i write it. i put it out there. yay me!
that being said...
in this world wide blogging web i have tried to pay more attention to other blogs. and websites on t.v. just the dumb things that we have been accustomed to being thrown in our faces for the last few years, but never really paid attention to. i have to say i have run across a few quite exceptional blogs. that i have been actively reading. and have found noteworthy enough to pass on to my friends and they to theirs. i do so enjoy reading these ladies (and a couple men). and in this strange blogging era its almost as if i look up to them. they are witty, sarcastic, out there, and just awesome. i am in awe. to these people i say thank you. for opening up your worlds too. because i so thoroughly enjoy them. oh and its great to know there are other people out there that think like me also.
we are celebrating three birthdays today. my cuz August. one of my friends BTDT and another friends husband Racer. there should be quite a few peeps here. we have brisket, beans, pot salad, rolls, cheeze dip, hot sauce, chips, drinks of every variety, jello shots, and who knows what! just an all around good time. i have been planning...and waiting...for this party since april. some of my best friends will be here. we will do what we always do. sit around. laugh. drink. play cards. drink more. relive all the old moments. drink some more. and just in general cackle like a bunch of hens until well past midnight im sure. these parties are my life blood. they are what keeps me going. 'but yaya you are our glue. YOU are what keeps us all together and on the right track' i have heard this so many times over the years. its a compliment. to think that I am the one that keeps our whole group together. it wasnt always like that. i have messed up too. but at this point in my life that title is one of my most favorite accomplishments. i love it!!!
so tonight we will party. and everyone will have a blast. and then the calls will come...whens the next one?? maybe october. that sounds good. cooler days. cooler nights. bonfire!! yay.
but august is a bad month. my mother died on august 17th 18 years ago. and Big K's father died august 18th 8 years ago. a day after my moms 10 yr death anniversary her father is gone too. it was something that took a long time for me to even talk about. and i dont use it as an excuse it just is what it is. and its still hard for me to talk about it. i dont even like the words...my mom is dead. i am a mom. and i dont want my girls to have to say that. i was only 15. i hadnt yet done everything that i was supposed to do when your mom is there. and it was too late. i want to make sure i am here for my girls.
so this month is very hard for me. i spend most of it in a stupor. just not here. on the verge of crying the whole time. with the possibility that i may bust open like an old rust spicket. pouring out gallon after gallon of salty water covering everything like the great flood. right now. im so happy. my friends are showing up one by one. everyone is stoked. and we are all ready for music, food, and laughs. i am ready too. i guess i just need to go into the bathroom and fall out. just get it over with. or maybe drive down to the cemetery and just sit there and scream and cry and ask that question "why Big G??" i do that every year. and on drunken occasions. but maybe i should just take the next thirty minutes and go sob. im trying to hard to get into the mood. the hey im having a huge party mood! but i just cant seem to do it. everyone keeps asking me whats wrong? are you ok? did i do something? ummmmm NO.
my mom died. and im sad.
there. i said it.
now..... on to the party!!
happy birthday august, BTDT, and racer!!!!! may this party bring you a little bit of happiness in our complicated and chaotic lives!!
scratching her head until there are holes where it is possible that brain matter is showing.
like seriously? this child always itches. and just when you think its over...boom!! scratching. the infernal itch that is my 4 yr old Lil K. will it ever end? i. am. not. sure. i hope so. i am afraid her skin will not make it. im sure there are things that i can rub on her. or not. its hard for me to get things like that. as she tends to find said things. and slather herself in them. as she did with my hormone cream. that is a story for another time.
right now. as i am watching access hollywood (really? am i that bored?) she is trying and i mean not really trying at all... to go to bed. but all this trying is interrupted every three minutes with a burst of itching. scratching that makes my skin crawl. a sound that is un-human. almost that of a wild animal you expect to run across in some hidden jungle. that sound. i hear it in my sleep. when she sleepscratches.
Just a mom of two kids. Big K and Lil K. Who make me loco on a daily basis. I have a ton of other kids that call me 'YaYa'. They are my 'stray cats' as my great aunt refers to them. Once you start feeding them they won't go away...and apparently i'm a great cook!
The things I say will not always make sense. I am funny. I am sarcastic. I am educated. (Sometimes I forget this and the ghettoredneckcoonass comes out. I cannot help it. Hushitup!) I am a smartass. I do not sleep a lot. I may be off color at times. I am also harmless. You may not get my style and that is not my fault. This blog is not meant to be anything other than my thoughts. What I say belongs to me and at the end of the day...it's just words. Get over yourself. If you are offended, go away. You have been warned...